imperfect is inevitable.

H1

2011-01-17T17:46:00.003+08:00

officially dropped physics to H1 today.
i feel so relieved, yet at the same time, more burdened to do well for As.
i guess theres no much choice..if i dont do well even after dropping, then theres no point in dropping and i can only blame myself.

this is a little scenario that i thought of on the way home, which i hope to see happen
a long long journey to the final destination. im carrying a large sack of stones that weigh 11kg.The aim of my journey is to go there to sell these stones and earn money.
im struggling because im not as strong as others, and im trailing at the end of the long line of people who are also trying to reach the same destination as I.
one day, i really couldn't take it anymore because im obviously too slow and i kept falling down.I can no longer even trail behind the others. Even though dropping 1 kg means lesser wasting 1kg of stones, i have concluded that it will be the only chance of getting to the destination. I'm not sure whether i can survive the treacherous trek with 11kg of stones. I left behind 1kg of stones and continued my journey. With a lighter sack,i moved forward with a higher speed, caught up with the rest and even over took some. Despite having lesser stones to sell, i earned lesser than those selling 11 stones, but the fact that i got there earlier than some people, i managed to sell every single stone that i have and earned more than those that carried 11kg worth of stones but reached late.yaye!
-END-

to anyone reading this(if theres any), im so sorry for wasting 3 mins of your life.LOL.
i admit that that was freaking lame. its just a stupid idea which i thought of when walking home.its just an analogy -.-
i think i will fail terribly as a author (not like im gonna be one anyway)

the biggest challenge that im facing now is: lack of concentration, lousy time management, and the inability to reject FUN.

a side note: THERES SIMPLY TOO MUCH HOMEWORK THAT I CAN'T FIND TIME TO REVISE MY J1 WORK!
and i can't believe i m blogging when i have so many more important things to do -.-

2011-01-17T17:46:00.002+08:00

Irritation

2011-01-12T22:50:00.003+08:00

Yes, I do admit that while I'm messaging,I m distracted.
And yes, I admit that tonight I have been sending tons of messages to lots of people.
Yes, I'm guilty and I'm sorry, I will try to compensate it somehow.

BUT.

Messaging isn't ONLY for schoolwork for goodness sake.who only message for the sole purpose of asking or discussing school work?!?!
I guess this is what cultural difference and generation gap will eventually result in.

I know it's for my own good and I appreciate it, but you are simply too obsessed over my studies.

2011-01-07T19:05:00.002+08:00

just finished watching HOMIN COMEBACK!!! DAEBAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
omg.although they are my least fave members, but i realised how much i missed them only when watching their performance!!! OMG.NEVER SEEN THEM FOR 2 YEARS AND NOW THEY ARE BACK!!! EVEN BETTER! changmin's dance improved!yunho's voice improved a little too! OMG! AND I LOVE THEIR DANCE AND BALLAD!

OMGOMGOMG.CANT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT! I WAS LIKE SCREAMING INSIDE!! hahahhaahhahahahah
okay.im so glad they are back, but im also sad to see that there are only 2.
and now, the negativity is getting stronger due to JYJ's various means to express themselves..junsu and yoochun..what hurts me the most is even boa are not on their side D: they are supposed to be best friends! D:

JYJ is making the headlines on allkpop everyday. but everytime they do, the negativity and criticism increase everytime. even fans are disappointed and annoyed at them. all i can say is, the more i read about how hurt they are, how say they feel, the more sad i feel. no one knows what they are going through now and in the past. i still strongly believe in them, their friendship. OMG I M DYING FOR A REUNION OR AT LEAST SOMETHING TO PROVE ANTI-FANS WRONG!!!!!

okay.full stop to that. physics rpapers. praying for a pass :/ thats all i can hope for. i crapped out so many answers and workings that dont even make sense -.- i can't afford to drop but it seems like there goes my H2 :x

2011-01-07T00:01:00.002+08:00

first things first, theres physics rpaper in less than 8 hours time and im using comp. cant resist. but i achieved something: e-assessment. 32/40 with only peeks at arnd 5-7 answers. to me, its a great achievement! or maybe i just got the super easy questions -.- how i wish i can do that well for rpaper tmr -.- well, a wish is a wish, we shall see...

decided to blog mainly because of the news of junsu's ambiguous tweets.
to me, it really sound like hes talking about the whole situation. BUT.i think junsu is smart enough not to post something so negative on a PUBLIC account. so theres a possibility that hes talking about some other issues.

as i look at the comments, i really really feel so hurt by some of the fans that say they really hate them, they hate their "whining" and blah blah. first, its their right to express themselve on twitter (they dont just open up the account for fanservice fyi). and just because homin have no avenue to express their own feelings doesnt mean that they are not feeling the same. what makes you think that they are at loggerheads now? i see cassiopeia breaking up because of this JYJ-HOMIN divide. how can the biggest official fanclub in the fandom for 7 years be this weak? i know its taxing for cassies since they all have their own biases. BUT. the reason why we love them in the first place is not because of one member. we only found our bias after starting to like the group. im not sure whether thats how others became a cassie, but thats what i did.

i realise im not making much sense but all i want to say is: I REALLY HATE FANWARS, ESPECIALLY INTRA-CASSIOPEIA ONES.theres no point and its hurting all 5 of them. i wonder how long will this last and how bad it will become. PEACEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

anyway, i gtg sleep now. GOOD LUCK FOR MY PAPER LATER! WHOO~

2011-01-02T00:06:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2011 is here~
okay. actually i'm not that looking forward to it, but well, time moves on without us and all we can do is to try to catch up and make it meaningful.

had my first countdown with friends! WHOOO~ 10S51 <3
went to many places trying to get a good spot to see the fireworks, but it was simply too crowded and we are unlucky enough because everywhere we tried to go, the security guards closed the roads right in front of our eyes..but its alright, S51 is a bunch that can make everything fun :D fireworks was jjang!been a long time since i saw fireworks so near. hmm.to be honest, i hate the crowd.but it wasnt THATTTTTTTTTTTT bad since im with a bunch of awesome and interesting people.hahahah

okay.so went to eat and edwina's house. her house is nice :D so cozy and homey. drinking game (tasted vokda for the first time.those flavoured one. not bad quite nice) truth or drink.drink beer.beer was totally horrible and disgusting. i will never drink beer if i have a choice :/
then we decided to make MV! but it was so fail cos we wanted to try a kpop song but couldnt find anyone that we know the whole dance(except jas), and we dont know the lyrics either, so we cant do actions according to the lyrics.so went went on shuffling kpop songs, then english, then back to kpop.hahah.FAILLLLLLLLLLLL. our MV D: it will be done someday :D

so, one whole day without sleep. gave my mum a call to reassure her that im home before i konk out for 5 and a half hours.started on physics, but dozed off soon after. couldnt even finish one set of forces note (its so freaking thin).
skipped morning and lunch today since i slept through it, i was super hungry, so i have to go down to buy food. the coffee shop wasnt open, it was raining, so went to hongkong street restaurant right beneath my block to eat. it really feel so weird going into a restaurant alone on new year's day and asking for a table for 1. plus the weather, which was very gloomy and blue, it made me feel a little down. and yeah, feeling abit pathetic because everyone eating around me are families.

in truth, this is the first time that i missed my mum so much. in the past when she went back, i still have my brother and i can eat my meals with him. the last time when i was alone was only for 10 days, which passed in a blink of an eye and i totally enjoyed myself because of the new found freedom. yes, i still enjoy that sense of freedom very much, but im realising that this freedom is pulling me back, by not allowing me to concentrate fully, settle down and strive for better results. i miss that feeling of someone restricting me, forcing me to study, because i knnow thats the time when i can truly concentrate and eventually, get better results. WHOO~ 4 MORE DAYS!of freedom, and to restriction. lol. ironic, but im not NOT looking-forward to it(:

anyway, this is awesome :D HET SEI/SAI!fianlly, a korean stage :DDDDDDDDDD after 2 freaking long years of hardship, they are finally back :D WHOOOOOO~ i lvoe the audience's reaction! totally engaged and enjoying themselves. it looks like they really appreciate the performance, glad to have them back, and full of respect :D yaye! the legendary DBSK :D gods of the east! anw, i shall stop here. its late.and i havent even finished half of my physics and i have less than 6 days, which 2-3 of them, i will be out.

good luck to me and everyone taking Rs.

Bye 2010, Hi 2011

2010-12-31T16:23:00.002+08:00

Okay. So here we are, a few hours away from 2011.
Honestly, I had great fun this year besides all the academic screw ups. I experienced many many things this year, many first times and gotten a lot of experience and fond memories. I wish I can always stay in 2009/2010...
Some significant events this year: new school, orientation, knowing wonderful friends from 10S51, genyouth,cdac, OCIP. A trip to Vietnam, having people stayover at my house, being alone in Singapore for so long, first birthday celebration without my family but with a whole bunch of friends, my first concert/showcase, my first time studying overnight, Geogies, getting an itouch,night cycling, first chalet stayover, and later, my first new year countdown without my family. There's manybother things, but I wouldn't remember that now.haha. YES. My creation of the BLUR CLUB.it's something I'm quite proud of :D

So to sum up this year, it was he'll lot of fun and new experiences, but academic-wise, its kinda horrible.
New year resolution: work harder, be consistent, have more self control, better time management and score well for As. Get the Eco-project done if possible. Best is to be able to manage fun and work.

Yeah.easier said than done. I admit I'm that kind of person who sound ambitious but no results.haha. A result of the lack of self control. But I'm really gonna try next year. It's a crucial year afterall...yes. I forgot. Pass my Rpaper!

All the best to everyone, the world, JYJ&HM and myself in year 2011 :D

2010-12-31T13:43:00.002+08:00

although i dont understand a single word that they said, but the sight of them fighting back their tears and trying to act brave in front of us pains me.

2010-12-31T00:55:00.002+08:00

okay. i re-read my post and realised how sucky my english has become.
my GP~~lack of usage of written english. maybe i should start to pick up books again. (well if i have the time.. -.-)
please pardon my grammatical errors and bad sentence structure :D

2010-12-31T00:07:00.003+08:00

yes. i have officially decided to revive this blog. but im not sure how long this "revival" will last before it dies again. haha
farewell was disappointing today. mr yau didnt turn up, which made the whole farewell absolutely pointless. furthermore, there is almost no senior and junior interaction at all. only the usual few that we talk to when we were still sec 4s. but luckily the graduates outing made up for the wasted day :D

anyway, ava's situation has been weighing my mind recently. its really really a bad situation. not only because i'm close to her thats why im helping her, its also because i can totally feel for her situation. i am a foreigner, so i know how one would feel abroad, ALONE and HOMELESS. terrible.whenever i think of myself in my situation, i will feel very down. no joke. i seldom feel so sad. i should treasure my time with my mum and being able to live in a proper house. took a look at a hostel today. the environment feels kind of depressing..it gives off a very lonely and desolated feel that i really dont like it. and i dont like to imagine ava living in that environment. the room, although a single room, is just a small room, with a small window that has no view at all.i got a feeling the inner rooms dont even have a window at all -.- the other hostel that MY is in is a much smaller scale one.even without being there personally, i can tell from the photos. and that says a lot. MY told me to be prepared. she said that she cried 2 days after seeing her hostel. the feeling.is terrible. my friends are living in such bad conditions and im enjoying life in my house. somehow, i feel kind of guilty.. D; andddd, im really reconsidering ava's accommodation options now. she may be better off getting a room on her own :/ i shall visit the hostel someday to check it out for her. yes.and this episode made me consider my future options. whether to keep the house or stay in hostels when my mum goes back permanently. im really loving my house...

talking about the house, had a talk with my mum. shes been going on and on about my studies everyday. i do realise and agree with her on my lack of concentration and overload of unnecessary external activities.**yes.shes unhappy with the countdown thing** how many days do i have left to study?less than a week? theres still countdown and fetching ava. theres really no time. and yes, i have to admit that its my fault, for not managing my time well and not taking every opportunity available to study and slack my way through. my situation may not look as bad as some, but the stakes of me not getting decent results, dropping to H1 or not getting good A level results are seriously much higher than many people. the money we spent, is a BOMB.all those will go to waste. my mum's youth, job and almost everything will be wasted. oh my. the more i think about it, the higher the stakes are. i need someone to motivate me!!! and i guess that would be my mum when she comes back and take me back under her belt. can i really survive without my mum?i really wonder sometimes. its ironic how much i want her to go back when i need her so much :/ life is full of ironies i guess..

okay. this is a complete post on ranting and how i feel right now. or rather, a few moments ago. haha. i think i get why cheryl likes to use blogging to relieve her emotions (:

tomorrow, im so gonna CLEAN THE HOUSE, make everything neat again. i really cant stand it now.lol. this is seriously the longest i have ever stayed alone, and i really miss my mum right now D:

a little about the dongbang situation...
i will always support the five of them in their whatever activities, but i have to say, I REALLY DON'T LIKE HOMIN USING THE NAME OF TVXQ.
yeah, i know its not their fault and all, i don't blame them, but i still HATE IT.
and the comeback teaser. DONGBANGSHINKI. and yet, its only 2 person on the screen. it feel so empty.i dont mind them using another name like what JYJ did. but using a name that only has meaning when theres 5 people is really out of my level of acceptance.
i wish homin sucess. i really do. im actually quite looking forward to their comeback! never seen them on stage for so so long. i think they improved (from athena ost). i want to hear them LIVE. but i really really hope that they change their name..not very possible, but just a naive thought :/ anddddddddddd.there will be competition between JYJ and HOMIN since they will be promoting in the same period. that means, THEY WILL MEET MORE OFTEN! yaye~ even if SM dont allow them to communicate, just a look and they will know what each other are thinking. the power of more than 9 years of friendship :D

okay. enought crapping. i aim to sleep before 1am. hahaha.

2010-12-29T01:39:00.002+08:00

i really really wanted to close this blog down since im too lazy to post nowadays.
but, this made me changed my mind

A Singaporean Cassie wrote a lovely fan letter for DBSK's 7th anniversary.
spread the dong bang love~

Hello world, I hope you're listening.
Forgive me if I’m young or speaking out of turn,
But there’s someone that I’ve been missing
And I think that they could be the better half of me.
They’re out there, trying to make it right,

But I’m tired of justifying so I say to you,

The fight for you is all I’ve ever known,
So be strong.

No one told us that one day we’d fall so hard for you, that years later we’d still be here.
No one told us we’d end up thinking about you, so often a smile played upon our lips.
No one told us you’d teach us to be strong, to love, and to fight back.
No one told us you’d make us proud the way you do.
No one told us we would become this selfish, caring for words only we wanted to hear.
No one told us we would become a burden to you because we forget you’re still human.
No one told us that a little part of us would die everytime you faked a smile.
No one told us you could set our hearts on fire the way you do.

No one told us this journey was going to be so hard and that we’d fight so fiercely to protect you.
No one told us some of our friends would leave because they couldn’t take the pain
(although we were there to tell them you were going through so much more.)
No one told us we’d have to go through all these rollercoaster rides of emotions day in and day out just for you.
No one told us it’d be worth it, but it was.
No one told us all this would happen, that we’d feel this way for five people we might never get to meet.
But we know we’d relive all this pain for you even if we were born again, because we’d rather choose pain than to have never met you.

They call us obsessed, crazy, delusional.
But why does it hurt so much more when they call you outdated, too far gone, an old memory?
Trying to make them understand is the hardest thing to do when words don’t come close.
You’re not just someone we look up to with love and respect and admiration; it’s the fact that you took us in and allowed yourself to be our refuge through your music that made a difference, the fact that somehow we feel indebted towards you for changing something in us, the fact that this pride we have for you will probably never end.
Words like 5-1=0, that’s a lie. You will never fall to nothing, even if you’ve to stand alone. Even if the stage looks empty, we’ll hold the spaces for you. Even if you don’t come back as 5, no one is going to stop us from being your red ocean.
We’ve everything to lose but if we don’t fight for it, we’ll never know what it’ll feel like to finally win.

You are DongBangShinKi and we are your Cassiopeia ♥

It’s been seven years and all these seven years,

You made us feel like flying on days we couldn’t stand up.
You made us stronger individuals and taught us how music could remedy pain.
You made us realize how far dreams could take us without losing sight of the important little things.
Even though I was only there for you slightly less than half of those seven years, I feel as though you’re a part of who I am. Your dedication overcame criticism, hardships and language barriers and it gave me reason to believe that risks are meant to be taken, and dreams are meant to be lived. Your music doesn’t just touch the heart; it comforts it and opens it up to real life. It allowed me to find tiny hidden doors and explore perceptions.
But the one little thing that convinced me to stay put is that invisible string that holds you together; that even with words unspoken, separate journeys don’t equivalate to broken ties, that everything you’ve been through as five will not dissolve so simply. That same little thing made me fall for you.

I’m a Cassie because there’s nothing else I’d rather be.

this is so beautiful that it made me want to keep it forever. all these hard times, we will definitely remember them. and when we look back at these memories in the future, we will realise how much we have overcomed in this fandom. the way she wrote it is so simple yet heartbreakingly beautiful. i wish i have the talent to write such things...
and its a singaporean! :D so proud of her((:

2010-10-25T20:12:00.001+08:00

SS16 from Ryoma Echizen on Vimeo.

NICEEEEEEEEE! :D
garang~daemul~geol oh~yeorim~
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :D

2010-10-18T18:44:00.002+08:00

just wanted to share this incredible fan account. i still want to read this 10 years later(: i can totally relate to her, just that i could never have good enough language to express it the way she did. and to think that shes just sec 4! :D

Reached the airport at 8am to have breakfast and I couldn’t finish my kaya-butter toast because there were like three hundred billion butterflies in my stomach and I couldn’t eat because I was too nervous. Felt like fainting and collapsing from the excitement. I was shaking, literally.
My brother was supposed to fly off to Australia for NS training that morning and I’m not sure if it’s fate or not but it was beyond coincidental. I’ve exams next week (the big Os) and I was debating on whether I should go to the airport in the first place (or stay at home to study) but well apparently the decision was already made for me :D
Anyway, I met Jardena at the T3 arrival hall around 9+ and we later went to T2 Burger King to meet Eldora and Tze Li (Jardena’s friends). We bought this caramel coffee thing that was super bitter and bleh. D: I attempted doing the board with much failure D: and started fretting over the size of my words and the size of the board itself. And basically I was in utter distress haha. Another friend of mine came to join me for awhile and helped to make 6 origami boxes (I initially wanted to make three hamburger letters haha but uhh well…I didn’t have enough time D: )
Around 11.20, Eldora (who left together with Sze Li to go to the T2 arrival hall awhile back) msged and told Jardena there were like MANYMANY fans downstairs so the three of us packed our things and left BK. Guess what? Haha when we were going down the escalator, fans started swarming towards us. Have you ever stood on a downwards escalator in an MRT station at peak hour and suddenly the MRT doors on both sides open and out of nowhere tons of people start running out towards you as you descend? It was completely like that haha. So the three of us took the cue and RANNNNN towards the skytrain to T3. I had to lug my really big and undone fanboard along with my heavy backpack of artsy materials and clothes so yet again I was in distress when running. But it was still fun :D We stepped into the skytrain just before the doors closed so there were only like 10 of us inside the train haha, we felt so accomplished hahhah.
Finally we reached T3 ahead of the others and RANNNNN to belt 47 where there were already a number of fans there. I’m guessing about 40? By then my other friend was joined by two more friends and we deliberated over where to stand. (We eventually stood closer to the arrival doors, not the outside ones).
I placed my bag on the chairs and stood together with my friends for awhile when the barricades were put up. Initially I was standing behind my friends who were just behind the barricade but unsurprisingly I was later pushed and pushedddd to the front by other fans from behind and I wasn’t even trying all that hard to be infront! By then another three friends of my friend turned up and stood behind us. We waited there for about two hours and false alarms started at 1+. It was such a hellish yet enjoyable experience seriously. I was pushed against the barricades so hard that I thought my ribcage would break. It was literally painful standing there and my legs were wobbling from trying to tiptoe (I’m really short, like reallyyy short you see). At the same time I was trying to dodge to the left so that the people behind could catch a glimpse of the boys when they walked past later on so I was in a really awkward position haha. But it was totally worth it.
So yes, a trillion false alarms later, I was dead tired from trying to tiptoe and I was so scared the barricades would fall. All drastic thoughts came to mind, like what if I broke my arm and failed my Os, or even worse, what if the barricades fell on the boys?? Its stupid how in moments like these, the boys are obviously more important than failing Os and having a ruined future haha.
Finally they came out, and just…wow.
The lineup was: backup dancers - stylists - thousands of bodyguards - Chun - Su - Jae.
They were such FLAWLESS GODS. And this is said all bias aside.
To any of you who think Yoochun is not as pretty/not as gorgeous/not as sexy as the others, you must either be asdfghjkl blind, or you have never seen him upclose before. Boy looks amazing. (If I could totally sparklify that word, I would)
Yoochun was really wrapped up and Jardena suspects he’s still sick. I think so too actually D: He was completely covered, scarf and all, and Singapore’s not exactly a very cold country so yeah…He was wearing shades and I can’t really remember what else because I was really dazed but he looked fabulous nonetheless.
Junsu was wearing a red top, a cap and wasn’t wearing shades. His eyes are so tinytastic and omg he’s just really cute and you just want to throw yourself at him and eat him up or sth. I can’t describe him. He’s so charismatic yet adorable yet talented ♥
Jaejoong was wearing shades and that was all that registered. His aura was so overwhelming and he’s so beautiful and perfect...He looked like an untouchable god. Like if you touched him, you would faint/die/turn into gold/ I don’t know!
The screams were deafening and for a few seconds after they left and everyone started chasing after them, I thought sth was wrong with me because my ears were blocked and everything sounded muffled. I thought I was going deaf and all pessimistic thoughts about not being able to hear the boys sing live and having to sit throughout the whole concert crying because I couldn’t understand a thing they were saying came to mind. I suck seriously. My whole body was aching and my chest hurt from being pushed and pulled but okay whatever I got to see the boys pretty close and that’s all that matterssss. :D
It was about 2pm when we left the airport to cab to Jardena’s house. Jardena was cutting the MY MY MY words out in the cab while I was just stoning haha. Anyway, we reached half an hour later and I finally got to drink sth, starbucks coffee! We sat on the floor and I tried to finish my fanboard which I eventually did and Jardena finished her uchiwa which said MYMYMYMYMY IT’S JYJ! haha and the other side said WHO’S THAT? JAEJOONG YOOCHUN JUNSU in korean characters (quotes from Junsu) My board said BORN AGAIN STILL YOUR FAN and it was a pretty big board, bigger than A5? The words were as big as the width of an A4 paper, haha I was desperate for them to see my board lah huh >:)
I took a longer time to do my board so Jardena started packing the presents first. We got Jae this really nice and notcheap man-bag that I honestly think fits him perfectly, for Chun, pj bottoms and this really nice longsleeve somewhat shoulder-revealing shirt (just the way I like it~) if the buttons are undone haha. My Bio teacher was wearing the EXACT same shirt, in the same colour too on Grad Day (which was coincidentally again, the day right after we bought Chun’s shirt). He was the one who gave me my cert too so imagine my shock (and his) when I was staring at his shirt for so long and didn’t realise he was trying to give me my cert hahaha. For Su, we got this cardigan and t-shirt that said some damn cool thing about how if you want something badly enoughly, it’s everywhere around you and only those who wait will meet the truth. Classic seriously and I thought it was very apt to give Junsu :D

We had to wrap Jae’s present in this nice fabric bag wrapper thing and after much failed attempts due to sucky scotch tape, we had to sew the wrapper. WE SEWED FOR JAE. Seriously, we aren’t that fabulous at sewing and Jardena had a lot of trouble trying to put the thread into the needle hole hahah so I came to the rescue~
The presents looked really pretty albeit Jae’s final product looked amateurly embellished due to the scotch tape but whatever looks are deceiving! His bag is gorgeous okay! :D After the presents were done, Jardena went to eat dinner while I couldn’t cause the board was still undone and I was stressing over it and being grouchy haha.
We dressed, got ready and left the house around 5.20.
The car was so jam-packed with paper bags and my board and I was famished but I couldn’t eat anything because the damn butterflies returned D:
Reached Expo at about 6+ and sat together with Rachel at the small little café place near the external backdoors of the hall. We chatted, laughed a lot and destressed abit though it was still nervewreckingly nervewrecking. We practiced Chajatta and hahahah okay it’s useless trying to get it pitchperfect cause in the end you just scream the song when they start singing. So much for trying to harmonize since the ‘nul saranghae’ part was so high.
Eldora, Sze Li and Hannah joined us later. I’m not sure when but while we were waiting, this lady came out from the backdoors and started asking these two group of girls who were sitting closer to the doors if they had markers but they didn’t so she approached us and said ‘Do you have a marker? Jaejoong needs a marker’. Jardena immediately took out her pencil case and dug out a dark blue zig pen but the lady said ‘Sorry but Jaejoong is quite particular’ (She said it really nicely though) so Rachel took out a black permanent marker and gave it to her. Hahaha while she was running back we were going crazy hahhahahahaha. It was hilarious. We started saying how we must vacuum-pack the marker and never let anyone touch it ever again because THE Jaejoong used it. When the lady returned us the marker, we flailed and spazzed again and Jardena told Rachel to hold it by the tips incase she smeared Jaejoong’s fingerprints and DNA sth or whatever (We sound so damn creepy but we’re not kay :D) Jardena was basically going insane. In the end we placed it in this transparent plastic bag for safekeeping :D
We finally went into the hall around 8+, nearing 9. We found our seats (Rachel and the others sat separately) and settled down. We were sitting in THE EXACT SAME position, though at a different venue, as Junho’s showcase in May. The same distance from the stage as the first time we saw Junsu.
It felt amazing.
Awhile later, the lights dimmed and my life became complete.
They appeared on stage, all dressed in white and I will forever remember that moment for the rest of my life. I started crying almost immediately and many fans around me were crying too. It was inexplicable, those mixed feelings of excitement, nervousness and it was then I realised how much I missed the boys. How much I missed them even though it was my first time seeing them perform live together. At the same time, I was angry at myself for thinking about the absence of the other two. I’ve only been a fan for three years and in comparision to other fans, that’s really short but well I don’t know why I feel so strongly about them. Passion and dedication doesn’t conclude it, it’s indescribable I guess, I don’t even know.

You could tell they were professionals when they took the stage. They performed Empty with so much charisma and so much energy, it was just wow. The three of them were stunningly beautiful, the kind of beautiful you’d think impossible to achieve. Junsu’s hipthrusting was fabulous, Jaejoong’s serious yet teasing smirks were sinful and Yoochun was still wrapped up from head to toe in a white suit but still dancing perfectly in his usual careful small-steppish way which I’ve grown to adore.
All of us were waving our red lightsticks-and until now I cannot believe it-but mine broke halfway through the song. I’d only just gotten my Dongbang lightstick less than an hour before the showcase and it broke after two minutes of waving (It literally flew into the sky and landed on the floor) Thankfully, Jardena had a spare lightstick that I used instead :D
The next two songs were Be the One and Be My Girl and it finally dawned on me that I was actually watching the three of them perform in front of me. And so I started crying again. I’d been waiting forever to watch them perform and it was finally happening yet I was so confused. I felt like I was dreaming and I didn’t want to wake up. I honestly wouldn’t have given a damn even if I never woke up.
During the ment segment, they returned from backstage with a new set of clothes. Junsu was wearing a white tee with a black vest and greyish pants, Jaejoong was wearing a white tee with a black leather jacket and jeans, Chun was wearing an offshoulder grey woolly sweater and can I just point out here that his skin looked very milky and royalty-like? :D But he suddenly looked so much slimmer than I expected and this reconfirmed our suspicion that he was still sick D:
The host told them that there were many international fans around and started saying ‘Who’s from Malaysia?’ and some fans were screaming. Later he repeated the question with Thailand, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, France and Spain and by then everyone was just screaming randomly hahah, so when he said ‘Korea?’ the whole hall erupted into screams hahhaha. The host then said ‘Wow so everyone’s from Korea now is it? and the boys looked very amused ♥
Anyway, Junsu greeted us first with a ‘Hello I’m Kim Junsu, It’s nice to meet you’, and he giggled in his dolphin-like way which earned him really loud screams. Jaejoong said ‘ Hi, How are you? I’m JJ’ and this was all said in English. You should have heard all the flaily screams, it was epic. Yoochun said ‘Hello everyone, this is Micky’, you should have heard the reemergence of flaily screams, it was equally epic. I seriously adore the way Yoochun acts as though his English is fabulous and fluent when we all know otherwise and if it’s even possible, I love him even more for that. The both of them sounded especially sexy next to Junsu’s higherpitched dolphin-ness hahha ♥
At one point of time, Junsu danced solo for us and kinda gyrated and hipthrusted in all directions possible and honestly he does it so well ♥ Also the translator, whose actually korean, translated something wrongly and Chun had to correct him. It was at this point of time that Jaejoong got off his seat laughing (I think) and Junsu went to pat the translator’s back comfortingly.
Later, they talked about a couple of things like ideal types which we all know the answer to for Jae; pretty hands haha. Su said he doesn’t really care about outer appearances and he likes girls who are outgoing. He went on to say that if he liked a girl, he’d just know it and feel it. Can he get any more perfect seriously? Then, they were asked if they had any habits when preparing for their album and Su said he had this tendency to place the chorus lyrics on the left side of the stand due to superstition and Jae just had to rebut, obviously, by saying he always placed his on the right. I’m pretty sure Jaejoong said it just to dispute Junsu haha ♥ And Yoochun said he always placed his on the upside, earning him fits of laughter from the fans. I told you he thinks his English is fluent ♥
And here comes another epic moment. When Yoochun was asked what he thought of Singapore girls, he simply said ‘woahhhhh’, with his husky yet sultry voice. If you were there and you didn’t melt and feel fuzzy with warmth and happiness, you’re inhumane I tell you.
The host then told the boys that we were going to sing for them and I had this immense sinking feeling. Just before they came out, the host told us to sing to Ayyy girl and only twenty of us? knew the lyrics well. I just want to say right now that the reason why so many of fans didn’t know the lyrics is because most of them hadn’t gotten their albums, just finished their exams and didnt have the time to memorise the lyrics, or simply didn’t want to listen to the album because they wanted to hear all the songs live before listening to the studio version (like me). The only song I knew well enough was Chajatta and the only reason why I could sing along to Ayyy girl with Jardena was because I happened to listen to it when making the fanboard at her house.
So yes we looked like idiots with only a small number of us singing properly while the others hummed along. Initially the host tried to cover up by saying that we were too busy screaming to sing properly, to which Chun said in English ‘they’re not singing’ in an amused-looking way. The other two looked kinda stoic and I felt so terrible. We tried to sing it again to much failure and by this time Jardena and I were trying to sing the song really loudly to make up for the quietness. Junsu then told us out of pure kindness that it was ‘very good’, giving us this ‘it’s alright we aren’t angry’ kind of look. I still feel so pissed about it to be honest. I’m trying to suppress my displeasure with the host (he did many other things that I personally deemed inappropriate but I’m trying to forget it so I shan’t list them out).
After which, Junsu started to sing Ayyy girl in acapella, and he was later joined by the other two. The harmony was flawless and those 12 seconds made the greatest impact on me that night. To be able to sing like that, I can only fantasize. It was breathtaking. For all three years as a fan, I’d wanted nothing more than to hear them perform an acapella in front of me live, and it happened
I’m almost very sure the boys saw our boards because not many people brought signs and mine was huge while Jardena’s was sparkly so yes I’m thoroughly happy with no regrets about fretting over the fanboard seriously ♥ This could be utterly delusional but I think the three of them kept looking at our area because of the boards, I’m not sure. Jardena said she felt the same way after I told her so maybe it’s true? I hope ♥
After that, they sang Chajatta which many fans were singing along to loudly. If only we could have sung Chajatta to them instead of Ayyy girl during the ment D: We were all screaming this song happily and it felt so good seeing them smile too ♥ Ayyy girl was up next and even though this song may sound a little odd when you listen to it the first time, it’s amazing when performed live okay. I’ve completely run out of vocabulary to express how I feel but you get it.
After they finished, Yoochun said they’d be back for their concert some time next year and that he hopes to see us again. At this point of time, many fans held up their Keep in mind that I Love You signs and Chun shouted into the mic when he was finishing his sentence to ‘Always Keep The Faith’. Fans were breaking down, crying and screaming and thoroughly overwhelmed by everything that he said. I think he felt comfortable telling us to always keep the faith because we’re a small group of people and he felt it wasn’t too risky? I really don’t know. But either way, I’m happy he entrusted us with his words.
Then the party began. They brought the house down with the remixed version of Empty and all three of them told us to stand up. So we did, and we were probably a huge nuisance to the security guards. Everyone stood up and hundreds ran towards the stage and some stood on chairs. They then told us to jump and so we did. It was beyond epic and unbelievable. The atmosphere was so high and everyone didn’t care whether they looked stupid or not, we just jumped and screamed and jumped so more. All of us were enjoying ourselves very very very much and it was obvious the three of them were happy and contented too. Even the backup dancers looked excited haha :D It was unforgettable to put it simply. I had never waved my sign so vigorously nor jumped so much in my entire life ♥
All of us were screaming for Encore when they left the stage but they didn’t have time to give us one because they were rushing off to Malaysia D: I honestly hope they managed to get enough time to sleep and rest ugh.
Throughout their ordeal I felt small and insignificant as a fan. United, we’re an ocean of red, but what are we when we’re alone? We’re still fans, but what can we do as individuals to ease their pain? It’s like being pushed into the sea and you’re sinking underwater but when you try to shout and plead noone can hear you.
Words can’t prove anything but words are one of our only few given rights. For as long as I have been in this fandom, I have wanted nothing more than to watch the boys perform live in front of me. This love for them goes beyond looks and superficiality and the amount of respect and admiration I have for them as artistes is purely indescribable. They have long graduated from the term ‘idol group’ and have evolved into singers. I meant it when I said ‘Born again, still your fan’, it wasn’t just a pretty fanboard for display, it was a messsage I really wanted to convey to them.
And I don’t know, after that night I realised how numbers were insignificant too. The number of hours you wait at the airport for them nor the number of years you are as a fan nor the number of fans you stand together with so that you can be seen can determine how dedicated you are. Numbers don’t matter so long as you choose to continue standing with them because you really want to. At times like these, people can call us crazy and stupid for loving the five of them and for holding on, but truthfully, we need them as much as they need us and if we don’t hold on for them, who will?

~

2010-08-31T20:35:00.002+08:00

its a wonderful wonderful day! went back to cedar after a few months, and the feeling was...AWESOME.
had a crazy time running around taking photos, looking for teachers, cheering and meeting up with ex-classmates(:
JAJA.jieying.valerie <333 ran here and there, scream and shout.i m smiling and enjoying every single second of it :D IT FELT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!
when the TJ bus arrived, it was EPIC. the whole lot of ex-cedarians CHEERED for them!they are the last HUGE lot of us to arrive. finally, REUNION~although i dont know many who are from TJ, but the presence of such a big group of them really make it feel as if the WHOLE batch of the incredible class of 2009 is finally back as ONE. the foyer instantly became chaotic and noisy.but to me, it seems like a miraculous moment and a sense of connection with every single ex-cedarian out there. was totally overwhelmed. CEDARIANS <3333333333
started getting REALLY HIGH and took lots of videos with it! I AM DAMN FREAKING PROUD OF US EX-CEDARIANS!definitely the best batch ever!never seen so many ex-cedarians back in cedar! HAH.
went to plaza sing to eat, without alisius D: (stupid girl has tuition..) cafe cartel. we took up 8 tables in total :D free flow of bread!HAHAHAH.we ate non-stop!the bread tastes so nice with the butter!
jiamin didn't eat with us.nothing appetizes her so she went to shop for art materials alone. jiarong and I joined her after our lunch and shoppppppppp.HAHA.at daiso (the only affordable place around -.-)
LIAR GAME.i can't describe how much i love that movie. even if i watch it 10 times over, i still wouldn't believe HOW FREAKING PRO AKIYAMA-SAN IS. and i can't stand HOW FREAKING PRETTY ERIKA TODA IS.seriously.we were grabbing onto our seats most of the time, especially when the results were about to be revealed for every round, and when deception, lies, betrayals and logics are being explained by akiyama-san etc etc. haha.ruoyu and jiamin were anticipating more intimate scenes between nao-chan and akiyama-san.too bad!not even holding hands, hugging and what they were hoping most-a kissing scene.LOL.but its still damn nice :DDDD 6.50 well spent! :D

and i started blogging because of today. the power of cedar <3 (and dongbang too of course :D)

2010-08-29T14:01:00.001+08:00

This is a fan account by a SHINee fan, but it's completely relevant because it's mainly about HoMin and Cassiopeia.

After everything that happened yesterday, the shock of being at the live concert, the heartache, the wonderful heartwarming moments, and then seeing all the photos and videos, there are so many emotions that I honestly dont' know how to express. I wanted to start writing something last night, but I really didn't know how to start. That night, I was in awe, not only by our kids, but also Yunho and Changm and the wonderful Cassiopeia and Shawols. Looking back on the videos from 2 years ago, I suddenly realized that our kids have really grown up. They used to run after their hyungs like their beloved dongsaengs, or perhaps they were a source of motivation...

I've always really admired Yunho, the past few years in Korea, everything about him, from his personality to his reputation, everything about him made people who loved him proud. That is why, when I saw the 8 whole banners dedicated to him at the stadium, I wasn't surprised at all. Even when the entire stadium erupted with screams of 'JUNG YUNHO', I wasn't surprised. Someone like him is totally deserving of that kind of love. I really like him as well, because I know that Yunho loves our SHINee, he buys them food and goes to watch their performances to give them support and encouragement, and he and Changmin always play basketball and go bowling with Minho. He brought Jonghyun and Key to dinner to watch the World Cup together, and went to Taemin's dance training sessions despite having to work on his own CFs, magazine shoots and rehearsals. He helped our kids make the perfect 2nd album. He was even their for their comeback stage, going to the venue with them and staying with them backstage...

Knowing that the kids have a hyung like that makes me really happy and completely content. Everything that Yunho endured as the leader of TVXQ, he's spoken to Onew about. He's taught him so much, yes, he's always trying his best to help Onew become an even greater leader than he is. At the same time, he also knows about the burdens and responsibilities he has to shoulder as a leader, and that is why, compared to the 4 other members, he is especially kind to Onew. Only because he knows too well how difficult it is to be in that position and how important it is to show him love and support. Onew, being younger and softer than Yunho needs extra love and protection. This hyung has put so much effort into protection our kids, in the hope that his personal experience will help get them further and make them a better group. This is why, last night, when I saw a tired, quiet and expressionless Yunho exchanging glances with the 5 members; when I saw Onew by his side, Taemin putting his arm around his waist, Minho tugging him along and Jonghyun and Key walking past him over and over again to help cheer him up, I felt content and proud. Huuhuu, I don't know whether it's because I'm too much like a mother, everytime I see the SHINee members showing love for their hyung, I feel a rush of pride. They're kids who really know the meaning of being grateful. Hyung's time and love hadn't been wasted, it's no wonder he likes you all so much.

Yesterday, in the hearts of Cassiopeia who had been waiting for over a year by now, there was bitterness and pain, but more than that, they were proud. Anyone who sees them would be in awe by the love and devotion they've shown towards their idols. Of course, this is because their idols really have made themselves worthwhile of their sacrifices, yet what amazed me most was that whether it be this year's Dream Concert or last night's SMTown concert, Cassiopeia gave TVXQ the same red ocean. Last night, when the big screen started to pay the VCR of HoMin, most of the fanlights had been switched off and I was almost a little shocked. However, in less than a minute, when HoMin descended from above, the stadium which had previously been a sea of various different colours completely transformed in to a red ocean. This kind of scene, whether you're a Cassiopeia or not, it really leaves people completely awestruck or even in tears. I saw lots of Cassiopeia noonas holding onto each other as tears poured out of their eyes. So many of them continued to wave their glow sticks and fan signs even as they were overcome with emotion.

That night, I should've been really happy because SHINee really delivered an amazing performance, they were so adorable and they had such a great time. Yet as I sat amidst the Cassiopeia noonas, I really couldn't help myself from screaming and crying with them. When HoMin's performance ended, they really lost control. If the tears from before had been the result of a year's worth of waiting, of pain, of controversy and of happiness over HoMin's return, then this time, it was simply because they'd lost it. They were in so much pain that they had all completely broken down. We've never heard the two talk about the pain and torment they've endured over the past year, yet we all understand, and that is why so many fans from all over the world have come to support them. In the end, the Yunho fans who were sitting next to me were still mumbling 'what to do what to do, (we) really want to go to the US, to China, to Japan, even if it's only for 6 minutes, 6 minutes is better than nothing, (we) have to go with him.' Some also said that seeing the fans with Bigeast towels who'd come all the way from Japan really hurt them more than anything. At the end of the concert, some of the Yunho fans came over to us Shawols and ELFs and bowed as they thanked us. Eventually, we all started crying with them, aish.

When I got home, I really wanted to see how the fans from China had reacted, of course, everyone was shocked and angry at first, but people slowly started to comfort one another, and I saw lots of words of encouragement from the fans. I was so touched! 'We'll treat it as though the purpose of their appearance was not to dance or to sing, but simply to see those who've missed them and to tell us that they're still protecting TVXQ, it's completely worthwhile.' 'Even though it only lasted 6 minutes and we waited 7 long hours, as long as we're able to catch a glimpse of them and see that they're well, it's enough.' There were lots of messages like that, and each and every single one of them touched me. All of a sudden, I remembered a conversation I'd had with a Yunho fan last night. I asked her why she loved Yunho so much and whether it was hard or tiresome for her. She replied 'I do get tired, of course I get tired, I get tired, bitter and angry. He really is a a fool, but there's really nothing we can do, we'll stay by his side and help him through the hard times because compared to everything he's been through, our suffering and our exhaustion is nothing.' After last night, I suddenly had a newfound love for these noona fans, I really really like them, they're definitely the most lovable fans I've ever seen.

Thinking about how good the oppas are to our SHINee and how nice the Cassiopeia noonas are to us, I really hope that one day, SHINee World will become just like Cassiopeia, so that our boys will be proud of us as well.

'Hello everyone, we are Dong Bang Shin Ki'
'Hello everyone, we are Cassiopeia'

This was the first time I've personally heard the exchange between TVXQ and their Cassiopeia and I was truly touched. I hope SHINee World and our boys will be able to achieve the same kind of perfect connection one day. I know we're not far from it…

i really teared reading this.cassies are amazing...

chinese fan part 3

2010-07-26T20:12:00.002+08:00

Jung Yunho,
Do you remember when Jaejoong sang 'I want to be your bed..' to you on a variety show?
Do you remember Park Yoochun? The boy who used to appear on variety shows with you, and once 'stole' away the girl you liked?
Do you remember Kim Junsu? The boy who'd take you home with him during your trainee days, and who had a relationship with you closer than that of blood-related brothers?
Do you remember in Couple Talk, when Changmin said you were the reason that Dong Bang Shin Ki is as successful as it is?

Kim Jaejoong,
Do you remember that variety show in Japan, where you hurriedly thrusted a biscuit at Yunho after eating food so spicy that even you had difficulty swallowing?
Do you remember in that Q&A session where you and Yoochun both said that you were the first to cry at the award ceremony, but all other members picked Chun?
Do you remember that concert, where you pushed Junsu around the stage on his wheelchair?
Do you remember when you first debuted, when you stole Changmin's pajamas so you could appear more friendly to the fans?
Park Yoochun,
Do you remember being on X-man at 15, when you were embarrassed and awkward, and Yunho, who was on the other team, kept sneaking over to pat your shoulder?
Do you remember your hyung Jaejoong's aegyo?
Do you remember Kim Junsu, the boy who didn't like you at first, but went on to write songs with you as years passed by?
Do you remember Shim Changmin, the boy who never cried nearly as much as you, but couldn't hold back his tears at the award ceremony?

Kim Junsu,
Do you remember how Yunho spontaneously decided to change the lyrics to 'My heart is filled with Junsu'?
Do you remember how Jaejoong said that your heart is like the ocean and your eyes are like a lake?
Do you remember how you said "I want to become Yoochun so I can find out whether or not my big forehead will get cold?"
Do you remember how you said that Changmin eats more when he has a good appetitie, when he is sick, when he's happy and when he's unhappy?

Shim Changmin,
Do you remember how you bent your knee slightly during an interview so that Jung Yunho would appear taller?
Do you remember how you said that the present you wanted most was for Jaejoong's leg to heal as soon as possible?
Do you remember Park Yoochun, the boy who never stops crying, but held tightly on to you when you cried?
Do you remember Kim Junsu, the hyung who you'd annoy the daylights out of just so you could play football together?

Dong Bang Shin Ki,
Do you remember?
Jung Yunho who said that the greatest event in his life was meeting his 4 other members.
Kim Jaejoong who said that the reason that your friendship is stronger than anyone else's is because you breathe, speak, eat and sleep in the same room…
Park Yoochun who said that you will be together for the 2nd album, the 20th album, the 200th and the 2000th..
Kim Junsu who said that he would leave if any other member left.
Shim Changmin who said that Dong Bang Shin Ki can only exist when the five are together.

Cassiopeia,
Do you remember?
Who is it that shouted 'I love you, Cassiopeia!' after delivering a speech at an award ceremony?
Who is it that said 'Stay with us forever Cassiopeia, in 20 years time, come and support us along with your children, it's a promise!'
Who is it that said 'I want to sing, I have to sing, I have to sing till the day that I die' even as his voice was changing?
Who is it, that despite the ill-treatment he received during a signing event, smiled brightly at the fans as he thanked them, and told the crying fans not to cry?

This part of the past is ours and nobody can take away these memories.
We will not forget, we will never forget.

For so long, you've worked so hard to be the Dong Bang Shin Ki that Cassiopeia can be proud of,
and we, Cassiopeia, have become your motivation.
All separation and suffering is temporary because we believe we will reunite.
We have not given up because you have not either.
We will wait, and our driving force are our memories.

Those who leave will come home one day because you are completely unique.
Those who are waiting will continue waiting, because there is no one in the world more deserving of our love.
Let's promise one another this: As long as you keep singing and dancing, and pursuing your dream, we will continue to be your red ocean.
Remember your promise. 20 years from now, when you release your 2000th album, we will be together, forever and ever.
Until the day when we grow old and you hold yet another concert, we will sing 'Forever Love' and 'Miduhyo' together, and as we part, we will have smiles upon our faces.
Promise us that you'll live well.

Always Keep the Faith.

i'm speechless.
too beautiful.
too touching.
dongbang.cassiopeia.together as one.we will always wait for you.always keep the faith.always be there for you.we WILL.

chinese cassies

2010-07-18T15:33:00.002+08:00

>> SUNDAY, JULY 18, 2010
This is NOT the whole thing. The actual article is way too long to be translated and posted here, but let me know if you want more.

I'm not part of your past, but you are all of mine
I will never be part of your future, but you will always remain as part of mine
Your love is divided between so many, mine is devoted only to you
Loving you makes me hurt inside, yet I love the pain you give me

There's an hour's time difference between the two of us
I see you walking down streets and alleys
And I retrace your footsteps, walking through your life
Your past is my future

I didn't used to believe in selflessness and self-sacrifice,
I always thought each and everyone of us were intrinsically selfish
All these prejudices, I hold them against myself and I loathe that I'm able to sacrifice so much for this man

You are a passerby in my life yet you've left with you such beautiful scenery and such deep, painful scars

You will never truly understand
When compliments turn into admiration
When praise turns into obsession
When idolization turns into love

We come from two different paths, yet from the moment these paths cross, there is no return
I watch you from faraway, in an entirely different universe, knowing that I will never be part of your future

People say love is most painful when you cannot have what you love
I say love is most painful when one is ignorant
So many things I've sacrificed, yet you have no idea that I even exist
Regardless, I've done it all by my own free will
You've never heard my name
You've never turned back to look at me
I follow your footsteps each day, thinking about the good that belongs to us
Then, as darkness refutes my fantasies, I cry uncontrollably
Until I'm no longer able to speak
The only thought in my head: Thank you dear, thank you for everything you've done

I should smile, and yet I'm afraid, because so many people love you more than I do
I should be proud, and yet I'm afraid, because this red ocean has reduced me to a minuscular, insignificant speck
I've always held my arms open, yet I've been unable to provide you with any warmth. I'm afraid, I'm afraid that what we give you will become your burden rather than your wings
I'm afraid that I"ll forget you, I'd rather die than forget.
I'm afraid that one day I won't know where you are and what you're doing, but as long as you're happy, I'll support your every decision.
I shouldn't be afraid, whoever it is, even if I don't know her, I'll be grateful that she is treating you well
We all hold the same faith because we are part of the same red ocean.
Nothing is impossible.

Someone I've never even met in my life has taught me courage and given me strength,
he's supported me and helped me along the way.
I'm not silly, it's just that he's become my sole bias.

I will cherish your every emotion, be it happiness or sadness.
You are my love - 'Always keep the faith' and 'Keep in mind that I love you'
The spell you've cast on me, I'll accept it willingly

At this moment, I realize I must learn to accept this incomplete perfection
We are not alone in our suffering, yet we are unable to provide much consolation to one another
We defiantly hold to one another, but we're unable to stop the invasion of loneliness
Even as our faces are covered in tears, we'll continue to fake a smile

Four years since being a Cassiopeia, I finally found out that the meaning of Cassiopeia is to protect those that we love for eternity
I will continue to wait, no matter where you are, please take good care of yourself.
I know that there are people more perfect than you, but they're not you
I'm drawn to you without reason. Completely in love, even with your little tongue

a touching piece of work by a chinese cassie which truly reflects the mixed feelings of being a true fan.i hope more will be translated. both the author and the translator are so eluoquent..cant help but feel proud of them(: hope that i cam be as good as them..who say fans are just crazy people with nothing to do are whatsoever?many fans are sophiscated, educated and talented. stop hasty generalising and stereotyping fans.you are totally blind if you do that.(referring ro no one in particular) this took me quite a while to type since im typing on my ipodtouch..but this is well-worth my time(:

by chinese cassies

2010-07-11T20:30:00.001+08:00

[TRANS] TVXQ - The men that we love
>> SUNDAY, JULY 11, 2010
This isn't news or anything, it's a compilation of messages written by Chinese Cassies, and it's been circulating around Baidu for quite some time now. Some of it was a little confusing even as part of the original text, but i'm sure most if not all of you will get the general gist.

1. The fans in red are no longer able to sit through concerts of their idols.

2. Cassiopeia will gradually adapt to seeing them alone, as individuals.

3. Despite all feelings of regret, I am thankful, thankful because you've been with me, because you were a part of my youth.

4. The greatest love of all is being able to persevere through the difficult periods of stagnancy.

5. (omitted)

6. The boys have taught me to love and the girls have helped me mature.

7. 'There's a person I can't get out of my head; when he weeps tears of sorrow, I look away to
stop the ache in my heart. I remember his smile, but not his face. Right now I feel a sudden urge to ask whether or not he's content the way he used to be'

8. The biggest fault a person could have is not selfishness, fickleness or recklessness, it is being defiantly in love with a person who could never show the same love towards you.

9. (omitted)

10. 20 years from now, I will still be a Cassiopeia.

11. You don't fully understand anything, you don't have a firm grasp of the truth, yet you know that he is irreplaceable and the centre of your universe.

12. When my youth leaves me, I will still be forever grateful that you were a part of my life.

13. If only I could silence all of those voices.
Those who have not undergone surgery and continued with promotions despite being on crutches, be quiet.
Those who have not had to live on only 1 or 2 hours of sleep week after week, be quiet.
Those who have not had to catch morning or late night flights, traveling back and forth every week through the course of 3 to 4 years, be quiet.
Those whose careers have never required them to leave their loved ones, be quiet.
Those who have not worked constantly in pursuit of a dream that may never come true, be quiet.
Those who have never had to support their family in their teenage years by selling chewing gum, those who have never slept in an underground station in their lives, be quiet.

14. As the years have gone by, I've grown tired of chasing after them. Regardless of how much I love them, it is an undeniable fact that we are fans and nothing more.

15. (omitted)

16. At the same time, being able to see you stand there quietly, unscathed, it is a blessing to me, to us. It is a blessing that cannot be put into words. My love, we are here for you.

17/18. (omitted)

19. If TVXQ ceases to exist, we will become fans of Tohoshinki, and if Tohoshinki perishes, fans of Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun will still remain.

20. 20 years from now, no matter where you are, i hope that I will be able to sit in one of your concerts, to listen to your voices and to applaud you.

21. Kim Jaejoong, remember, you don't always have to compromise to please everyone. You are irresistible whether you smile or not.

22/23. (omitted)

24. I'm not afraid of waiting, because it is DBSK I'm waiting for.

25. (omitted)

26. Whenever I feel my heart ache, I know that he has already lived through that pain.
Whenever I worry, I know that he's been troubled by the same things.
By the time I see him, his wounds will have been tended to.
When I cry, he will already have gotten up to stand before me once again.

27. When I spread out my five fingers, each tip represents one of you. If clenching my first could mould the five of you back into one, then I'm afraid those tips are too far out of my reach and I've waited too long. Our hearts are connected, but you have become five separate individuals.

28. If you've left, then please remember to come back. And even if you don't come back, don't ever forget, because there is nothing in this world more terrifying and tragic than forgetting.

29. (omitted)

30. Our only hope is for you to live on happily. Throughout these years, we've held on to one another. We are still the same red ocean, filled with love and endearment.

31/32. (omitted)

33. Kim Jaejoong, if the day comes where one person has to leave, I hope you leave as soon as possible so that you'll be hurt the least.

34. (omitted)

35. I use the same perfume as you, I eat your favorite ice-cream, wear the same sunglasses, listen to the same songs, buy the same headphones, wear the same clothes and learnt to speak the same languages. And it was all in vain...

36. (omitted)

37. I know that time will take us away one day and we will meet in heaven.

38. There is no one in this world who wants him to be happy more than I do, but knowledge that I can never be part of this 'happiness' is saddening.

39. One day, one day all of these worries will go away and become part of the past. But etched permanently in someone's skin will be an image providing evidence for a past that we cannot be rid of. Back in June of 2007, during Five in the Black, Yoochun's tears flowed endlessly and Junsu's attempt to offer consolation only brought about his own tears. Amidst all of this, Yunho stood and watched the two of them cry, his own eyes red-rimmed. Changmin and Jaejoong, normally strong and masculine nearly broke down too, their eyes shone with sincerity.

40. The things we do for them, they'll never know, but we do all of this willingly out of our love.

41. There are so many things beyond our control, and fate is one of them. What we can choose is to use the time we have to give them everything we've got, to love them with every fibre of our being.

42. Growth comes with more than just love, it comes with pain and tears. Right now there is nothing we can do besides smile and push away all the feelings of sadness, we must continue to love them patiently and learn to love those that he loves.

43. When everyone else was heavily made up, you appeared with your faces almost completely bare and exposed. When everyone else wore glamourous costumes, you stood on stage in nothing but a suit. When everyone else was overcome with the joy of receiving an award, you walked on stage slowly. When Kim Junsu was speaking on stage, were restless. When Yoochun spoke, his voice quivered. When Jaejoong spoke, he sighed and smiled helplessly. Finally, when Yunho held up the award, he shouted 'Cassiopeia I love you'

44. I remember the way you'd always be awarded the most prestigious of awards. The five of you standing on stage, saying "Hello everybody, we are Dong Bang Shin Ki.' Whether you were crying, smiling or hugging one another, it was always a sight to behold. Nowadays I wonder if Yunho and Changmin will appear out of nowhere and hug those on stage saying "we're here'

45. (omitted)

46. I've spent the past year looking through the growth you've undergone in the last 10 years, and I realize that the day will eventually come when you reach a crossroad and part in separate directions, waving goodbye at one another.
As for me, I want to walk down that road with all of you, until we reach the inevitable end.

47/48/49/50. (omitted)

I hope that touched your heart the way it did mine.

Credits: TVXQBaidu
Trans by: dorfehh@DBSKnights
Shared by: DBSKnights

CASSIES ARE AMAZING..once a cassiopeia, always a cassiopeia. be it 10 years, 20 years and forever, DBSK will always stay in our hearts...HWAITING!

fanaccount part 2

2010-07-11T20:24:00.002+08:00

[FANACCOUNT] 100707 JYJ Korean Town Los Angeles Encounter Part 2
>> SUNDAY, JULY 11, 2010
So, hopefully I will finish writing this in one sitting and get it out to you before the day is over.....all of your responses make me really happy! Lets spread the Dong Bang Love~~~kya kya kya~~~

So let me dig back into my memory pool: as I heard the chairs rustling, I realized “oh my God, I’d better look up!” And much to my dismay by the time I looked up Jaejoong was already out the door. (I know I already wrote it in part 1 but here let me DO IT ONE MORE AGAIN: WHAT? WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I seriously suffered from major wailing inside. I was dying to catch a view of his whole person but alas that ship just, like, sailed. T_T) I frantically searched outside the glass walls of the restaurant with my eyes and THANK GOD there he was, standing right in front of the restaurant with some staff people surrounding him and yes again he seemed sad to me when he wasn’t speaking or when no one was interacting with him. Perhaps it was my imagination, and I do know how Jaejoong just appears kind of stone-faced when he goes into his expressionless mode (which I love and find it hilarious, instead of cold or distant like it’s been described....since he’s just kind of whimsical like that....going off somewhere else in his mind even during interviews.....) However, this seemed a little different to me: he really seemed like someone who was slightly traumatized. I don’t know if it’s because we’ve all read about Park Yonha’s news of suicide (may you rest in pease, Mr. Park) and we all know that JJ and he were BFFs and even talked on the phone just the day before Mr. Park ended his own life. When I saw Jaejoong standing outside, he seemed so very thin (although not as thin as Yoochun, OMG that boy lost weight, but I will talk about that later), wearing a black T shirt and tights black pants and a black beanie, casual yet totally awesome-looking, while feeling amazed at his beauty, it just made me ache to see this (what I perceive to be) aura of loss around him, like somehow he felt lost in the world and didn’t quite know how to be, where to go or what to do with himself. And who knows, it’s not easy being in a foreign country on a tight schedule anyway even without any of these traumatic events, and I very well could’ve been reading something into nothing at all (all of this was VERY SUBTLE and I am severely Jaejoong biased, anyway). Regardless, my heart just poured out to him. There was a staff person lingering inside the restaurant (actually, when they were still eating inside the restaurant, this young woman came in with a baby and said hi to the group, apparently the wife of one of the staff members and she stayed behind to eat because she came in late so one of the staff people that I assumed to be her husband stayed with her while everyone else went outside.) I thought about going up to that staff person, asking if he could possibly pass a message of condolences to Jaejoong or actually all three of them to convey support, but I eventually decided against it (trust me, there were times that I questioned if I was just retarded and missed this ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity to communicate with them.)

As I was sitting there, my eyes just kept going to Jaejoong while he was standing outside the restaurant: this tired, thin, cheerful when interacted with, smiled upon watching Junsu playing around him, sad when no one was looking Jaejoong. There was this slight frown, and he looked troubled to me, slightly anguished even, and maybe it wasn’t that bad, maybe it was all my imagination, but I thought to myself there’s no way Jaejoong didn’t know how loved he was. I mean come on, this is the young man who tried so hard to contain his tears during the Dome concerts and kept repeating over and over again to the audience how he realized the importance of smiling for everyone else, and that how he knew seeing him cry would make others cry and that he only wanted to make people happy. I think about how, for any grieving person, the last thing they need is to need to pretend they are okay for anyone else when they are grieving that loss and going through the pain. I didn’t know what else to do, so I sat there and watched him (he was outside now so I let myself look more freely since there’s more distance) and sent prayers to him while looking at him, Jaejoong, who stood there, tender and open to his beloved members and staff yet slightly away from us all:

“Jaejoong, may you let yourself feel the pain that you need in order to realize how much you did love your friend and learn to still keep that love for yourself still even though it hurts you right now because you really miss him. May you realize how much it WASN’T your fault that he had to leave the way he did, and that it wasn’t his, either. May you experience the freedom of knowing that your friend would always be your friend, whatever form your friendship may now take, and may you be loved, supported, heard, nurtured, understood, and respected as you continue to grieve this terrible loss and learn to connect with your friend still in heart after his passing. May you really REMEMBER that it wasn’t your fault and know that every suicide survivor experiences guilt at some point, and may you have the space to go through this journey with grace and ease. May you sleep well, eat well, and breathe easy. May you be hugged often and by those that you love. May you give yourself the freedom to cry if and when you need to. May you realize that we all have FAITH in you, whatever you may need to go through. And most importantly, may you have faith in us as well to trust us that we love you just the way you are, so there’s no need to be perfect for us. Cassiopeia loves you. May you feel that love, be nurtured by it, instead of burdened.”

“And yes, Jaejoong, may your friend rest in peace. May your heart find peace as well as you let him go into peace. He’s peaceful now, so it’s important that you let yourself as well. I know that pain if inevitable, so as a fan, all I can do is to send you prayers, everyday.”

I sat there and tried to pour these thoughts and emotions through my eyes as I looked at him, and trust me, I know that sounds a little crazy, but perhaps that’s the true beauty of being hardcore fan (I never was before for anyone else, not to this degree, and I doubt that I ever will again) was that I didn’t care, for the act of praying brought me such joy. It was really a very strange sensation: I associate such greatness with them, receive such joy from them, and they have no idea who I was, and that was, like, totally okay! Wow, what a gift! Thanks boys! :)

But, that’s enough with the sad and the gloomy, let me turn back a couple of steps and talk about the other precious two. As I was bummed out by the the quick leavetaking of Jaejoong and in between my deciding if I should go up to the staff person to ask for the passing of a message and eventually deciding to just pray for Jaejoong, I did not fail to notice that Junsu and Yoochun were STILL IN THE RESTAURANT! And WAH WAH WAH THEY STOOD UP so I was totally looking their whole persons instead of just the half profile view. My God Yoochun was THIN. Thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. Of course he was gorgeous and totally charming (even with his back put up as his constant state), yet you wonder where all that food went inside this tiny body. He had shorts on (ah here I totally feel perverted and sorry Yoochun if this invades your privacy but I know that fangirls would want to know.....) so, ugh, his BARE LEGS were in plain view right in front of me after he stood up. (Argh gulp I really feel so perverted, but I looked!!! I looked!!! Waaaah!!!) Really, really pale skinned and not much hair on his legs (some) and he had some sort of supporting wrap going around his left ankle (black) so hopefully no injuries (he looked completely normal when he walked later). He stood there speaking with Junsu and then with the waitress again before he walked out (he was the last one to walk out), and the waitress TOTALLY looked at him with loving eyes while Yoochun again engaged with her in that young-ish way (AH SO CUTE!). She even reach her hand to pat his back as he turned to leave like you would a young relative or child, just adoring him, and you could tell that Yoochun was used to being adored (can you blame him?) I thought to myself such is the charm of DBSK......so famous yet to those whom they open themselves up to (well, particularly Yoochun when he does) you can’t help but just get KA-POWed and be overtaken by their charm, regardless of age or gender or race! (Mirotic much, anyone? ~~~under my skin~~~oh yeah y’all got it all right! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! **imagine Changmin scream please.)

And as I said, Junsu walked out before Yoochun, and as I was praying to Jaejoong (wait, that sounds funny. I meant that that I was looking at him while I prayed for him....I do know that he’s NOT baby Jesus), I noticed that Junsu was, I kid you not, happily bouncing around. (HOLY JESUS SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, JUST LIKE I’VE SEEN ON NUMEROUS VIDEO CLIPS!) But first let me backtrack to when he first stood up in the restaurant.......can you believe it?.....I still don’t remember what kind of pants he was wearing even after he stood up! That just goes to show you how appealing his face was so whenever I looked at him I was drawn to his upper body more than anything else, and he really did look exactly how he looked on TV (maybe because he was the only who was styling and had makeup on?) He seemed more filled out than Yoochun (Yoochun you really need to put on some weight....) and got great skin as well. I watched him walk out the door and as soon as he was out it was like a child out of the the school room, (or bird out of the gate to be more exact.) He immediately started talking, laughing, playing with Jaejoong and other staff people. He would walk around rapidly from one person to the next, saying something in an animated way, and then to the next person, lots of waving of the arms and totally complete bright smile to enliven the air around him......ah what a mood-maker! (Japanese pronunciation please.) At one point he even excitedly pointed one finger at one of the staff persons, exuberantly said something right to his face to make some drastic comment, before rushing up towards him and engulfing him in a hug as if a child throwing a prank on an adult and quickly going up to him to plea forgiveness (AH I CAN’T HELP BUT TOTALLY SMILE RIGHT NOW, JUNSU I LOVE YOU~~~). He was outside so I couldn’t hear, but I imagine it must have had been Kya kya kya Kya kya kya Kya kya kya all over the place: I mean, if I could fill up the space with captions like they do on Korean or Japanese shows, I would totally subtitled the entire scene right in front of me with Jun-jan Kya kya Kya like they did at the AADBSK 3 bed time talk!!!

Yet alas, all good thing must come to an end, including this great chance encounter. (I am still walking around dazed, and this is what, more than 48 hours later now....oh you dong bang boys are something else....doushite.....kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou....I could hear the music going off in my ear....wahahahahahaha.....yet, that’s right....”boku wa tamago ski geto, kimi no suki!!!” **I do know I am not a man and therefore shouldn’t use Boku, but seriously, isn’t Junsu awesome?) As I watched him playing around with the staff and the other two, (at one point a car tried to pull into the space that they were standing in and it was so funny to see them slightly startled and slowly moved away almost like timid kids gradually scattering......wahahahahaha seriously kill me now.......too....cute.....), I couldn’t help but realize that JYJ, really, truly, are just REAL PEOPLE as well. It’s so easy, all too easy, to elevate them into godlike status and fall into this haze of total adoration, for they were indeed very special and gifted. Yet, at the same time I could see that they were really just young men who NEEDED ONE ANOTHER and perhaps are now going through some of the greatest challenges of their lives, while the whole world watches.

So, even though I was still trembling inside from the shock of seeing them, and just like any other fan OF COURSE I totally wanted to look and know everything about their lives, I all of sudden realized for an instant what these beautiful young men had GIVEN UP in order to go after their dreams, and what a GIFT it had been for us to receive their talents, their raw selves, year after year, even though we are all somewhat broken up inside about the trial and tribulation from the past year. And for that, I decided to finish this one article that I had been working on (I started back in June after the Dome concert, since after seeing clips of the song “W” I just HAD TO DO SOMETHING). I had to think of something to comfort myself, to allow myself to admit to myself that, yes, things are different now, and some of it truly, honestly, are terribly sad and heartbreaking, even though none of us knows what’s going to happen next and all of us still KEEPING THE FAITH, the best we know how (thank you boys for giving us an opportunity to practice). So, as with going through any kind of loss, I decided to write because I believe it’s through letting myself feel the pain, expressing it, releasing it, I will then be able to find the love and faith to continue and begin again. I believe that’s how the song “W” was born for JYJ, and I believe that all five will be able to transform their pain into glory. Yet, however, I just couldn’t finish writing my article then, because it was just too painful. BUT! The MIRACLE of chancing upon them filled me up with energy to complete that writing. And while I didn’t plan to share that writing with anyone initially, as it was meant to comfort myself only, I changed my mind. As I watched their vans pulled away (they got into two white vans.....I know after this all the white vans in Korea town are gonna get extra love and attention now :), as I type all this up right now, this beautiful acapella starts to ring in my ear....the five voices, the most beautiful harmony that we all know all love.....the song starts to play in my head as it fills me with love:

~~~Every day, and night, with you
~~~Furueru kimi no te wo nigirishimerukala (I will hold your small hand tightly)
~~~Every day, every night, everywhere
~~~Tsunagaru kanshokuwo (Lets verify our connection of feelings)
~~~Zutto tashikameyou
~~~Ima monogatari wa... Begin (Now, the story will.....begin.)

(For the article “Even Cassies Have To Grow Up, Too”, please visit http://forcassiesonly.blogspot.com/) Thanks DBSKnights for posting this encounter, and out of respect for the DBSKnight site (since the article isn’t a sighting but my thoughts that came afterwards, I created this page to host just that, but of course you are most welcomed to post if you want to. Thank you for this opportunity of sharing! I feel so close to all of you! AKTF! Hwaiting! Sarangeyo~~~)

Credits: Julia C.
Shared by: DBSKnights

aww.jae, cheer up!you have everyone with you, loving and supporting you. show your angelic smile, cheerful laughter and look at things with your bright and beautiful eyes!~
OMGGGG!JUNSU IS THE SAME ON AND OFF SCREEN!i will DIE to see him acting as described in the fanaccount!i think i will just laugh and smile idiotically at him the whole time if i was there!hahahaha.OMG!so glad to see that he'd totally recovered and acting like his usual self((((: <333333333333333

always keep the faith!~

fanaccount part 1

2010-07-09T20:24:00.002+08:00

So finally I am able to calm down enough to write this fan account of running to JYJ (and staff) at a restaurant yesterday (July 7th, around 3pm in the afternoon) in Korea Town here in Los Angeles. I don’t know about all of you, but prior to running into them I’ve had this nagging worry in the back of my head ever since the news of Park Yong-ha’s suicide and Junsu’s visit to the ER, and seeing them with my own eyes brought such tremendous relief, even though I still feel both the grief and joy watching them grow and mature in the past year, but I digress: I am going to keep this fan account strictly to what I observed yesterday and I am going to post another article that’s specifically for detailing the emotional journey inspired by witnessing the amazing talents of these five, especially with the turmoils since last year. If you are interested to view this article named “Even Cassies Have Had to Grow Up, Too”, I will include a link to a page at the end of this fan account (It is not going to be a blog by itself. it’s just something that I will set up to post this one article only. It’s kind of long so I am not sure if it’s going to be shared here at DBSKnights......love this site, by the way. Thanks for all the hard work for keeping us in touch! Please feel free to let me know if you want to post both or just this fan account. It’s cool either way.)

Anyhow, lets get down to business. So yesterday afternoon around 2:30pm I was close to K-town and wanted to grab a quick bite from a trip to the supermarket deli, yet as I drove there (I was already in the parking lot), I all of sudden changed my mind and decided to go to another restaurant down the street. Instead of picking up food, I thought I deserved an actual sit-down meal, even if just a short one, to cheer myself up since I woke up feeling really sad. Due to this sad mood, when I walked into the restaurant, I was rather absent-minded. I did notice, however, that the waitress that usually was very friendly and quick to point me to a seat seemed rather distracted, and kept speaking to me in Korean without letting me know where to sit. I was slightly confused since I didn’t speak Korean. As she was speaking to me from behind the counter, out of my peripheral vision, I knew right next to me near the entrance was this big group of patrons who occupied two tables, but I didn’t pay any attention to them. I just wanted to find a seat that was on the corner of the restaurant so that I could sit down with my book to hide and console myself with a good meal. I stood pretty close to that big group of patrons, and as I was trying to get a hint from the older Korean waitress a sense of where to go (very nice ajumma by the way: I’ve always liked her) I moved several times, each time just a couple of steps since I was unsure of where to go, around that big group of people (I think around 8-10), trying to gauge where I wanted to sit. That took a couple of minutes. In hindsight, I realized that I was probably less than one feet away from all three of them at one point, but I didn’t realize that at the time, and again I am jumping ahead of myself. (BUT HOW CAN YOU NOT BE EXCITED, HUH? I AM STILL IN SHOCK!)

Anyhow, I quickly spotted this table at the corner of the restaurant. The restaurant wasn’t very big, and all the tables were aligned in one direction, except for the one that I picked for myself. I hadn’t even noticed that table before from my previous trips to the restaurant: it was strangely positioned in a way that it had the whole view of the place (meaning that instead of being part of the rows of tables, it was not included in those rows and stood separately on its own at the corner, hence offering a great view of the entire place without me having to turn my head if I sat with my back to the wall.) I picked that table because, ironically enough, I wanted some space from everyone and I did choose to sit with my back against the wall since I didn’t want anyone behind me. I sat down, let out a breath, and thought to myself “oh thank God” since I was feeling so very antisocial and tired from my day already, and that was when I heard a voice that I thought really familiar to me so I looked up: when I looked up, I thought I saw the profile of someone who looked incredibly like Yoochun. At that instant, all the blood must have gone to my face as I felt this tremendous heat rush EXPLODED in my body and I almost fell of the chair. I quickly looked down because I didn’t want to look like I was crazy and I wanted to take a deep breath to compose myself (HOLY SHIT, AM I HALLUCINATING?) but I quickly looked up again (HOW CAN YOU NOT?) and did a double take: WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH IT WAS YOOCHUN BECAUSE, BECAUSE RIGHT NEXT TO HIM WAS SOMEONE WHO LOOKED LIKE JUNSU! HOLY JESUS SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!! THERE CAN’T POSSIBLY TWO LOOK ALIKES ALL AT THE SAME TIME?! RIGHT?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I still want to scream!!! IT’S JYJ RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES!!!)

But at the same, I took another deep breath as I realized that these are some super sharp sensitive people because it was like they had eyes on the back of their heads: I mean Junsu and Yoochun. As shocked/excited as I was, I am pretty positive that all that I let out was a sharp intake of breath and a few seconds of intense staring just to verify what my eyes were seeing (you know that sensation that you couldn’t believe your own eyes, like the brain was just not capable of registering what was happening....I mean, I LOVE these boys! I watch them every morning on my laptop before I go to work! I watch them when I get home after work! I know the details of all of their TV shows like the back of my hand and listen to their music in the car! But, but......what was I seeing? THEM!!!!! WAAAAAH THE WORLD HAD STOP TO MAKE SENSE IN THE MOST CRAZY AND WONDERFUL WAY.) Yet as intense as I was feeling, I am usually also pretty good at keeping things internal when I need to so I was surprised how quickly Yoochun and Junsu turned to survey the corner where I was sitting like they picked up something. They eyes simply surveyed the corner and didn’t linger more than a second which didn’t surprise me: of course I feel like I’ve known them forever and to them I am just a complete stranger, and in a way I was glad to see how alert they were. It was less than a second that they glanced towards my direction before they focused back on their meal (yet enough to scare the crap out of me because I didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. I mean, I can completely understand why fangirls chase them down and want a piece of them, and at the same time my heart aches a little for the lack of privacy they suffer and it pleases me so to know that they could enough a meal without people gawking at them, so I really tried to refrain myself.)
At that point, it was obvious that Yoochun was really comfortable with the waitress apparently, since he tilted his head to ask for the waitress to bring him something in Korean. (The waitress at this point had completely forgotten my existence. I had to wait for a long time and finally rang the bell before she came to get my order, but really, I seriously don’t have any complaints.) The way he asked for her attention was very young-ish, like an adorable child (but of course he’s a young man now) and at that instant I could really FEEL how and why he was so popular and captured the hearts of so many, despite how casually dressed he was at that moment (Here’s another funny thing. Just yesterday morning before I left for work I was watching this video clip of the boys being interviewed by Mnet, and they were being asked who was the most poorly dressed offscreen and the boys said: “Yoochun” and proceeded to describe how, when offscreen, Yoochun usually dressed in sweats and Yoochun, in his defense, replied that was because he wanted to be able to practice anywhere when he wanted to. And lord and behold: what did I see him wear when I ran into them? A simply gray T-shirt and black sports shorts/knee length and, ding ding ding, SANDALS! LOL! Those you hardcore fans know what I am talking about: true to his word, this was the guy who tried and pushed the limit and wore his sandals into the winter season in Japan. Guess it worked out well for him that it was warm in LA right now. :) Of the three, he definitely was the most casually dressed, with his hair pulled back into a very cute teeny tiny short ponytail (lots of bobby pins involved) and no makeup, but to those of you who are Yoochun biased: no, that doesn’t take away his star quality WHATSOEVER. It seemed to me that Yoochun, out of the three, perhaps felt the need to withdraw the most when faced with the things or people that he didn’t know or feel comfortable with. His facial expressions changed subtly yet informed varying degrees of pulling back quite well: I felt like I could sense the so very sensitive soul that really needed a sense of needed protection underneath this occasional aloofness. Since they were constantly in the public eye, and for any sensitive person that meant a tremendous amount of incoming energy on a daily basis, I can only imagine his need for some space. I don’t want to digress too much but allow me to say that I felt like I observed this tendency in all three of them: this brilliant and shining opening of their being when faced towards one another (you could really feel the love oh it’s SO REAL) that just takes your breath away (some serious charm), and the need to distance and protect oneself from the endless spotlight that did not turn off even as they stopped performing on stage, so of course they needed to shield themselves somewhat. From that perspective, I could really appreciate every part of Yoochun even as he appeared a little more aloof than the rest (in my opinion) and put his back up a bit more than the other two. (I would never forget how he cried for his brother and himself on YSMM. Beautiful. Certainly showed a very sensitive and caring soul that needs privacy and space in order to feel safe and blossom, and boy did he show us his talents during these years.)
But Junsu, ah Junsu was entirely another story (but as I said, I observed that tendency in all three of them: just perhaps least in Junsu, and as a matter of fact I think it’s something all celebrities must learn in order to cope with their fame, but let me shut up about this already, sorry ladies. I know you are dying to hear more about the actual details so here it comes.) Since I felt self-conscious to keep staring, I did look down at my book and I tried to act normal so that they could continue to enjoy their meal without interruption. There were very few patrons in the restaurant as it was already 3pm in the afternoon, and the few tables that knew who they were kept their distance as well, but friendly. I did, however, OPENED UP MY EARS SO BIG so I could feel into what was going on at the other table. And truth be told, there was no way to miss Junsu’s raspy voice anywhere you went. Kya kya kya kya kya it brought me up joy to hear his exuberant voice and occasional laughter. (OH THANK GOD HE SEEMS RECOVERED). Even though I didn’t know what they were saying exactly, but the intonation felt very cheerful, with some fatigue mixed in perhaps, but overall it really felt so very sweet. They were relatively quiet, but I recognized all of their voices (I was the one who had trouble breathing) and it was SO NICE to feel their energy: peaceful, familiar, with a true feeling of family thrown in there because of the natural intimacy that you could pick up from being around them. It was really amazing. I was SO HAPPY to see Junsu looking so well (the boy was well dressed! He had on some kind of informal gray suit jacket and I don’t remember what else he was wearing....sorry ladies....his face was so adorable that I couldn’t focus on anything else. I think he had some makeup on and his hair was styled....ah Charisma Junsu-san. Yep, you sure can intoxicate as many as you want now......)
BUT! BUT! YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND! I AM COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, 100% JAEJOONG BIASED! (Although I really, truly, sincerely love ALL FIVE and I pay great attention to them all. NOTHING is going to stop me from going to SM TOWN Live this Sep, not even my hatred for SM: I LOVE HOMIN and that’s what counts. I will support them any way I can.) So, I was anxious to find Jaejoong (Yoochun and Junsu sat with their profile towards my direction so I could see them VERY WELL and CLEAR every time I looked up, but I didn’t see Jaejoong right away.) Turned out that he was sitting across from from Junsu at the opposite end of the table and the person sitting next to Yoochun was blocking my view and I had to maneuver a bit to get a glimpse of Jaejoong and MY GOD HE WAS BEAUTIFUL. He is truly blessed with exceptional beauty. From the distance you see great his skin was and how delicate his facial features were.....aaaah I could faint. I didn’t want to look too intently so I tried to find him without being too obvious, yet just like the other two, he was really, really, very sensitive and knew what was going on around him quite well, although you could tell that he was probably used to people gawking at him (which, again, hurts my heart a little although I am really happy that he finally got what he wanted when he was younger: I’d never forget his honest admission of wanting popularity on X-man during “Of Course” with Changmin.....Ah I miss my soul fighters....T_T). So, I tried to look away quickly whenever I looked up for a glance of him (I think at one point he looked at my direction again like he sensed something and we had one second of eye contact like I did with the other two, although they certainly weren’t looking at me but merely surveying the environment......BUT SURE YOU KNOW HOW SHOCKING THAT WAS TO MY SYSTEM.....oh bless my heart it’s still beating so fast.) However, at another point, (WAHWAHWAH I FEEL SO LUCKY) the staff people sat next to Yoochun got up and went to the bathroom so it was WIDE OPEN between Jaejoong and I, meaning that it was a CLEAR VIEW (since he was sitting at the opposite end of the table, that meant I wasn’t seeing his profile. I was looking at him DIRECTLY.) Jaejoong looked sad, I won’t lie, but occasionally he would smile this most tender, genuine smile that just melted your heart when the two or staff spoke to him. I swear, I would never forget that moment when his face went from this somewhat forlorn expression to this beautiful blossoming of a smile. It was one of the most beautiful sights I’ve seen, (and yes, I know, he’s just a human being as well but so am I, so projection really is inevitable here, hee hee.) This continued for a while, my looking down and looking back up and looking down and looking back up and keeping my ears wide open to capture everything (meanwhile my food was served yet I kid you not, my hand was shaking a little and I felt so stupid and tried to hold it steady.) Eventually, they got up to leave. I had told myself that I would look up fast enough when Jaejoong stood up to see his whole person, yet I tell you! That boy FLEW OR SOMETHING!!! As I heard the chairs rustling I looked up and Jaejoong was already out of the door (WHAT? WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOO!), while Junsu and Yoochun lingered at the table for a long time. I was sad, but, guess what? The restaurant had glass walls so, YEP LADIES, I could still see Jaejoong through the glass wall......and, if you don’t think this is the longest, most boringest fanaccount in the world so far......I do have more to tell you. Ah God have mercy, they stood outside the restaurant for a while to chat before they got in their vans, and you know what it also meant?
It meant that I WAS FREE TO GAWK NOW THAT THEY WERE OUTSIDE!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Lord have mercy indeed!!!
So, I will be back, with Part 2 tomorrow, and as promised, the link to the article, “Even Cassies Have Had to Grow Up, Too, “ and I hope you like it. Bless our boys. They seemed well, at least for the moment, and I know that soothed my heart, as I continue to appreciate all the joy that they’ve brought into my life. Who knew such inspiration could come from following a boy band? I wouldn’t have believed you if not for DBSK!!! So, ATKF, ladies....see you tomorrow!

this is the LONGEST and BEST fanaccount i have ever read. ever so perfect english, so detailed, full of emotions, thoughts and expression.shes so lucky!junsu's eukyangkyang!omg!i really really want to see them!at least once in my life. im totally regretting not going for junho's showcase.i probably missed the only chance in my life to see any of them.T_____T

physics results.as expected, an S.haha.not too sad, but i wonder what will happen to my promos..

anyway, ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH! :D

2010-07-04T19:05:00.002+08:00

JAJA DATE!always the funnest day!i can laugh without restrains, be crazy and stupid without caring about getting weird stares and feeling apologetic about disturbing others and embarrassing my friends(this doesn't sound too good but heck...)
JAJA dates never fail to make me laugh.its always full of fun. even if we are just talking and catching up in tcc, we can somehow laugh at almost every single thing that any of us say or do.its amazing how it feels as if we were never separated into different schools and are still as close as ever.<3333333333
YEC meeting.ended at like.10.30-10.45?so reached home at 11.45.had to take taxi home from lavender for safety precautions.the YEC meeting was somewhat..unexpected?haha.some of the ideas are quite funny.esp. the social networking one.hahahahaha.the programmes planned are so unromantic.haha.but its funny :D however, we joined another project (unknowingly..) which is to organise an amazing race, and the theme is "heritage".sounds interesting, but i m worried whether we will be able to cope, since we have heartH, music for hope, environment project and all our other SIPs.didnt think that genyouth will be this busy, but well, i hope we will be able to tide through all these hardships and emerge as stronger, better and more capable people.HWAITING! i m learning quite a bit, but i hope my studies won't suffer further as a result. its already suffering like madness.lagging, not understanding, homeworks and assignments behind time.oh no.realised that i have lots to catch up on, but somehow i just can't bring myself to work on it.i totally deserve all the bad results that comes my way..but well.my mum is coming back next thursday!5 more days to go!yaye~didnt think i will miss her this much and feel so glad that shes coming back.haha.she will control my comp and my studies.hopefullyy it will pick up with her help(:
but for now, let me enjoy the rest of the 5 days.COMP!!!! :D

FINALLY OVERRRR

2010-07-01T02:14:00.003+08:00

THE 3 DAYS OF MADNESS IS FINALLY OVERR!
先苦后甜.so suitable.the adrenaline after all exams are finally over and feeling free like a bird.shiokkk!haha.we were quite mean, but we keep bragging to the chem people that we have no more exam(they still have chem tmr!)HAHAH.
went to parkway and ate pasta mania, then went to TEOHENG!the powerpuffs~ amazing CHEAP!!1 HOUR 6 BUCKS IS DAMN WORTH IT OMG!haha,greatly recommended.although theres not like AAAAAAAAAALOT of korean songs, its considered quite a lot for any kbox-like place(: SATISFIED!have loads of fun :D it was supposd to end at like 4.15, but we draggggggggg until like a bit past 5?they locked out screen at 4.53.haha.but we self-entertain by singing with the mike.jiamin and cheryl even recorded davichi's time, please stop!haha.superrrrrr nice! :D went to tcc at bugis.had 1-for-1 with cheryl while jiamin ate the vege thingy.JJANG!spent hell lot of money today, but well, ITS AFTER EXAM!so in the mood(: but that reminds me, i should start saving :/
i cant believe im still awake at this hour.maybe its the post-exam adrenaline?the tcc coffee?or just comp?hahaha.its super rare.it only happened 4 times in my entire life.2 times-sleepover at jiamin's house, 1-night cycling, 1-in airport waiting for flight back to china last year.hahha.i chionged sunao ni narenakute!spent around 4 hours watching.SUPER NICE!THE LAST FEW EPS IS THE CLIMAX!and it rounds up the whole story. a meaningful storyline :D yaye!satisfied(:

my condolences to park yongha.a talented actor cum singer, i heard.its a great pity that he committed suicide. life is kinda unfair..people with talent always seem to live shorter.wonder why..but the entertainment industry is really stressful.the number of cases of stars from korean and other countries committing suicide is on the rise. does that mean the industry is getting darker than ever?i hope all of them will be alright :/ jaejoong and hyungjoon is super sad over the death of one of their closest friend in the industry..i hope they will recover from the loss of their friend soon, and not follow his footsteps.HWAITING!they always have their family, fellow members, chingus and fans to lean on.they shouldn't bottle everything up.stay positive!thats like the simplest yet most important philosophy in life.AJA!

not to forget, always keep the faith! :D

i am fine!~

2010-06-22T20:07:00.004+08:00

after that depressing last post, i am here again! *TADA*
though i woke up at 4 plus in the morning yesterday(woke up by jiamin's msg....she crazily sleeps at 6 plus nowadays -,-), and wanted to send him a last message, wishing him bon voyage.decided not to and went back crying to sleep cos i dont want to make it sadder than it already is. woke up to a sense of emptiness, knowing that im the only one in the house, only one sleeping in the room, and that hes not sleeping on the upper bunk anymore.took my phone up and saw his last message to me though.saying his goodbyes and some minor naggings like 3 mins before his flight.a fresh flood of tears overwhelmed me.but well, i m alright after that.
i have promised myself not to be affected by his absence anymore.of course, it still has a certain extent of impact on me, but i have found ways to get over it by immersing myself into studying and using comp and watching tv and listening to radio.the night is slightly more unbearable because the silence is slightly overwhelming for my liking, so i solved that by onning the radio.963 FYI(: as for the meals part, i try to cook dinner and tend to skip my lunch because i reallllly dont feel like going out.the door have not been opened for 2 days already.haha.i am really a zai nv!MUAHAHA!but i have no choice but to go out tomorrow because i have to go and buy breakfast :/

i am MUCH MUCH MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHH BETTER because its really not that scary actually.This is especially so when i'm using comp. i really can forget EVERYTHING.watched miraculous victory dbsk ep., and 8 ep of kwonin WGM(alisius keep recommending it, and once i start, i can NEVER stop!the most hilarious couple!!! :D)so i just sit in front of comp and watch watch and watch non-stop.this is the bad thing when there are no restrictions and no one to control me. i will just go crazy doing whatever i like and neglecting things more important :/
thank you so much!YOU YOU YOU AND YOU(you know who you are(: ), who tagged on my blog and messaged me to console me and show their concern and support, kamsadeuriguyo!~ saranghanda~

HWAITING! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2010-06-20T23:31:00.003+08:00

im going to let it all out.
after almost a week of containment, my emotions can finally take over and let myself cry all i want.
for the past few days, tears will well up uncontrollably whenever i think of him leaving.2 months.its a long time.and eventually, he will leave for 3 years. i may not even be able to see him for 3 whole years. hes pursuing hes future, hes career, hes everything.i musnt stand in his way.
right now, tears are flowing.unstoppable flood of tears are welling up from my eyes this very moment.i m just glad that he wont be here to see it.
today even before we left for dinner together, tears were already spewing out as i see time ticking away.5 more hours and he'll be off to the airport.i tried to hide it, hoping that he wont see my read and swollen eyes.
we left for dinner, with my eyes still slightly red, but i used my fringe to cover.we tried to act normal, and we did, when our minds are preoccupied with looking for the harry potter book, walking to pomo, choosing food and eating it.but somehow, while we were finishing our bowl of ramen, he started repeating what he's been reminding me over the past week-must remember to close the window, lock the door before i sleep, remember to bring key out, remember to off the fire, electric switches, take care of myself, sleep early, dont leave house after 7 etc. etc, i couldnt stop my tears anymore.all i can do is 'uh' and nod my head vigorously. i didnt want my voice to betray my feelings. but obviously, it didnt work.its so super obvious that my tears are flowing when i just couldnt raise my head and meet his eyes and reply to whatever he said.my tears have already blurred everything out.the music playing in the background is so freaking sad, and its also about leaving.i couldnt stand it anymore and just wanted to leave immediately.silence on the way out.him in front, me following at the back and wiping my tears with an already wet tissue. suddenly, i heard sniffing sound coming from him.its normal, actually,since hes having flu this few days.but the fact that his head is down and him not looking at me gave me the feeling that hes crying silently.
i was right.when i tried to talk to him when my tears had finally subsided, he looked at me and under the dim light, is saw a pair of slightly red-rimmed eyes.when we were walking to the mailbox to check mail,under the dim moon light, i saw a drop of tears glistening on his left cheek.unmistakably, hes crying. it is not rare for me to cry, but for a guy who havent cried for at least 5 years, this is really rare. is he crying because of the same reason as i?
i have always known that he doted on me tremendously.truthfully, i feel more sad now than when my mum went back.maybe because this time, i will be all alone. when my mum went back, i wasn't scared at all, because i know i still have him there to protect me,to guide me, and always be there for me.he has always been. now i think of it, he has never left me for a single day except when he was at camp or when we both were in boarding school when we were young. for all of my 17 years, hes always with me, always my big brother who protects me and care a lot about me. without him, i wont be what i m today, i will not get 247 for psle and 7 points for o levels. i wouldnt be one that likes sport, is so playful and so cheerful. hes is a great part of my life, one that i could not live without. but now, i will have to learn to live without him being always around me and looking out for me.i, will try hard to tide past this 17 days of being alone.and my mum will be out.i have always thought that him going to UCL is a great choice, and i dont see the point of my mum having to come out to accompany me because i will be out in school of have activities most part of the day and she will just rot at home, having nothing to do. but now, after experiencing the sorrow of someone really close leaving, i am really grateful that i wont be alone for a few years, but only 17 days..i have always thought that im strong enough, independent enough to take care of myself.but seems like im not yet prepared.maybe i just have to get used to it. now, i can finally understand mengying's tears when her mum just went back.i told her to cheer up. i realise, its really easier said than done.having someone who have never left your side to leave, is really an experience that others will not understand unless they have personal experience. now, i can finally understand why people howl like a mad person when their family members passed away, how my mum would have felt when she left for singapore, without my dad, why people cry when they broke up a relationship.Another thing i found out is that, its really a very fortunate thing to be nagged at. trust me, when theres no one to nag at you, you will really miss it.anyone who bothers to nag at you, is one that really cares about you. why bother to waste their breath and saliva when they dont give a damn about you?i m already starting to miss his naggings..
i guess i will really grow up after these 17 days of independence.its a good thing.at least i will be mentally prepared when my mum will finally leave me after As while my bro is in UK.but right now, all i want to do now is to let it all out and cry all i want.after tonight, i shall keep back all my tears, regain my cheerful self, and study for midyears.i really want to do well, for him.my mum.my dad.myself.but somehow, my concentration just failed me.i just cant concentrate.and my memory.its really bad.my physics, i really dont understand a single thing.and my bro couldnt help me. talking about this, i realised how dependent i am on my brother, academic wise.i m always taking the same subjects as him, so he always ended up teaching me this and that, giving me advice on this and that. but now that i take 2 different subjects as he did in jc, i feel lost.i really dont know how to do physics.my physics is really bad, and i got A1 just because mr yau is the best teacher on earth and i really dont like chem.well, i chose it, so i have to bear it.i just hope that i can make it and dont need to drop to H1.
from today onwards, i must pick myself up, be strong, be independent, learn to take care of myself and work hard for my goals.yes.easier said than done. i shall try.

i will not go out tomorrow, because i dont want to let people see my really swollen eyes.
bye oppa, i will definitely miss you.loads. see you in two months time(:

OH.MY.GOD

2010-06-15T21:34:00.003+08:00

OH MY GOD. I KNEW ITS GONNA BE BIGGGGGGGGGG, BUT I DIDNT KNOW ITS GONNA BE THIS BIG!OMGOMGOMGOMG!I CANT BELIEVE IT!THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE IT REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BIG THIS TIME!!!!!!!!GO JAECHUNSU!!
Been writing songs for a Korean group DBSK (or better known as TVXQ in Japan)...They've been the best selling group in Asia basically crushing everyone's sales...They actually make up for 40% of all revenues made by Avex Japan...That's HUGE!!! Too bad my old group SOLID sold 4 times more than them tho...hahaha! But of course...different generation...^^ Anyways, this is sort of "top secret" but I guess what better place to talk about "top secret" projects than a public blog like this one? haha...Basically, DBSK used belong to SM Entertainment in Korea...For those of you who don't know what that is...It's basically one of the biggest entertainment companies in Korea...Anyways, 3 of the 5 members recently defaulted and sued SM Entertainment for "slavery" contracts (I can explain about that...but that will take 10 pages...). So 3 of them are releasing a new album under a their own company...and me (aka "yours truly") got involved...Basically, it's a huge collaboration project featuring the 3 guys from DBSK and the biggest A listers in the US...as of now...being Kanye West and Timbaland...To make the long story short...we're working on the album as I type...and will fly to Hawaii to record at Kanye's house...and then possibly go to LA or Miami to record with Timbaland...This is by far THE biggest budget project EVER in Asia...PERIOD! And the reason for the secrecy besides the obvious media frenzy it will cause...is because SM Entertainment is PISSED OFF about them leaving...and I don't wanna step on anyone's toes...but as usual...Oh well...It is what it is...

THIS.IS.IT.THEY.ARE.GOING.TO.MAKE.IT.BIG.AND.THEY.WILL.BE.FINALLY.BE.RECOGNISED.THROUGHOUT.THE.WORLD.......!!!!!!!!!!!

JUNSU FTW!

2010-06-08T18:20:00.001+08:00

Idol celebrity Kim Junsu's (Xiah Junsu) popularity is once again confirmed.

According to the 100% viewer's vote that chose the "BC Loung.G Popularity Award", Kim Junsu alone held an overwhelming 3505 votes out of the total 9526 votes, becoming number one in the male category. Compared to the second place winner Ryu Jung Han (449 votes) and the third place winner Hong Gwang Ho (352 votes), Junsu overtook them by 3000 votes.

In the female category, the winner was Jung Seon Ah, who played Kim Junsu's lover in "Mozart!". She won first place by earning 2100 votes, beating the second place winner Kim Hyo Hyeon (678 votes) and the third place winner Jessica (592 votes).

In the portion of the best newcomer award, Kim Junsu achieved a 70% reaction from this year's judging panel, having 5 people out of 7 people vote for him, making him first place as best newcomer. Among the 50 people involved in the performance's press corps, he received 16 votes (30% reaction), taking first place in both judging sections.

2010-06-06T22:11:00.002+08:00

“W” by JYJ.
Pure.
Love.

夜空に浮かんだ
Yozora ni ukanda
Materializing in the sky

星が文字を描き出すのは
Hoshi ga moji wo egaki dasu no wa
Were stars that spelled out a letter

偶然じゃないと
Guuzen janai to
Even now, I believe

今もまだ信じてるよ
Imamo mada shinjite ruyo
That isn’t a coincidence

同じ闇の中で
Onaji yamino nakade
Inside the same darkness

同じ距離のままで
Onaji kyori no mamade
Holding the same distance

W＜ダブル＞を描き続けている
Daburu wo egaki tsuzuketeiru
They keep spelling out the “W”

君に見つかるように
Kimi ni mitsukaru youni
So that you might be able to spot it

もっと輝くから
Motto kagayaku kara
We’ll shine even brighter

keep in mind that I love you.

きっと・・・
Kitto…
I believe…

いつか逢えるから
Itsuka aeru kara
We’ll meet someday

瞳を閉じる度君を想う
Hitomi wo tojiru tabi kimi wo omou
You show up every time I close my eyes

君がいることが
Kimi ga iru koto ga
I still expect you

今もまだあたりまえなんだよ
Ima mo mada atarimae nandayo
To be standing right next to me

ただ今は君が幸せであると願い
Tada imawa kimi ga shiawase de aruto negai
All I dream for is for your happiness

僕らの階段をひとつひとつ上っていくよ
Bokura no kaidan wo hitotsu hitotsu nobotte ikuyo
And step by step, we’ll climb our stairs

僕らはまだ僕らの未来を想像しながら
Bokura wa mada bokura no mirai wo sozou shinagara
We’ll keep on imagining our own future

君を待ってるよ
Kimi wo matteruyo
While we wait for you

きっと・・・
Kitto…
I believe…

いつか逢えるから
Itsuka aeru kara
We’ll meet someday

瞳を閉じる度君を想う
Hitomi wo tojiru tabi kimiwo omou
You show up every time I close my eyes

君がもう一度
Kimi ga mou ichido
One more time, you will
(T/N Junsu slipped up on the lyrics here :’)
supposed to be

君がいることが
Kimi ga iru koto ga
I still expect you）

今もまだあたりまえなんだよ
Imamo mada atarimae nandayo
To be standing right next to me

いつかもう一度
Someday, one more time
Itsuka mou ichido
(T/N Joongie messed up too, supposed to be 逢えるまで Aeru made Until we meet again)

君の居場所は守ってるよ
Kimi no ibasho wa mamotte iruyo
We’ll keep your spots safe

君ともう一度
Kimi to mou ichido
I believe that someday

笑えると信じているから
Waraeru to shinjite iru kara
We’ll be able to smile once again

“Please hold on…”

時が流れても
Toki ga nagaretemo
No matter how much time flows by

どんな痛みが待っていても
Donna itami ga matte itemo
No matter how much pain is waiting for us

君がいつまでも
Kimi ga itsumademo
僕たちの「プライド」なんだよ
Boku tachi no “puraido” nandayo
You are our “pride” forever.

夜空に浮かんだ
Yozora ni ukanda
The words that you whispered

星に君が呟いたのは
Hoshi ni kimi ga tsubuyaita no wa
To the materializing stars in the night sky

さよならじゃないと
Sayonara janai to
I believe, even now

今もまだ信じてるよ
Ima mo mada shinjite iruyo
That the words weren’t “goodbye”

同じ空の下で
Onaji sora no shita de
Under the same sky

同じ夢を描き
Onaji yume wo egaki
We’ll draw out the same dream

W＜ダブル＞を探し続けている
Daburu wo sagashi tsuzukete iru
And we keep searching for the “W”

同じ形のまま
Onaji katachi no mama
It’ll stay the same shape

ずっと輝くから
Zutto kagayaku kara
It’ll shine on forever

keep in mind that I love you.

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

逢いたくて
Aitakute
I miss you

きっと…
Kitto…
I believe…

いつか逢えるから
Itsuka aeru kara
We’ll meet someday

瞳を閉じる度君を想う
Me wo tojiru tabi kimiwo omou
You show up every time I close my eyes

君がいることが
Kimi to mou ichido
I still expect you

今もまだあたりまえなんだよ
Imamo mada atarimae nandayo
To be standing right next to me

いつか逢えるまで
Itsuka aeru made
Until we meet again

君の居場所は守ってるよ
Kimino ibasho wa mamotteruyo
We’ll keep your spots safe.

君ともう一度
Kimi to mou ichido
I believe that someday

笑えると信じているから
Waraeru to shinjite iru kara
We’ll be able to smile once again

AWWWWWWWWWWWW.this is so obviously a message to fans! the W shape made up of stars in the sky is obviously referring to CASSIOPEIA!they are telling us fans that they will be back someday!as one!they are asking the fans not to give up one them, and stay on with them and support them forever!so sweet~jaechunsu always manage to transmit little messages to encourage fans through subtle ways!:DDDDDDDDDDDDD <33333333
always keep the faith!

anyway, came back from CDAC SHG camp today. slept for nearly 5 hours straight once i reached home. ony slept for 1.5 hours yesterday!finished debriefing at 12.15, bathed, yuying shg gathered at 1am and started playing snake and ladder!oh yes, prize presentation was before that.haha.kittredge hahahhaha.kittredge gave out hello panda!still need to take picture for every single handshake and every hello panda given.he is the ULTIMATE ENTERTAINER!he won the snake and ladder and were eyeing yishun shg's poker cards.after much pushing, annabelle went up to ask whether they have an extra deck of cards.came back empty handed.after much discussion, we decided to go up as a WHOLE GROUP and exchange our board games,reversi and xiang qi for their poker cards (thats already 2am)when we failed, we went back to play cherades!haha.all kinds of funny words like jealousy, honesty, british airplane, japanese surrender, english,electron nobody(we had to dance out for kittredge to guess but he still duno the song because he dont know the song title!!!!)etc etc!LOL.1 hour passed quickly and its time for sentry duty.we were sitting below hut 2 .yizhen dropped something from on top!PAH!then we ran up and realised that she dropped something.she thought her specs dropped(in actual fact, its only her torchlight.).rebecca and yixuan were feeling super cold.me and ziqin lent them our jackets.hut 3.4 girls not asleep yet!2 went to sleep after some persuasion.the other 2 keep saying they cant fall asleep.so me and annabelle have to sit right beside them to force them to sleep.tasmin and ziqin came to take over us at around 4am.4.30 they came back and said they all fell asleep already(: actually only florence fell asleep, the other one pretended to sleep :/ (this girl said she can dont sleep for 3 days!primary school kids nowadays.....many sleep at 12/1am!crazy!!!!) 5-6.30.sleeping time!woked up refreshed and went to pack up and eat breadfast. after that was station games!we won the last one by cheering.haha.cos it ran out of time..ATHENA WON OVERALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!whoooooooo~so proud of ourselves!i cant believe we won, but come to think about it, we won quite alot of things!haha.was damn high~~~~
okay. about day one. as usual, after we reached the campsite and were split into our groups, we had icebreakers, making of group flag and blah.lunch. low elements and general stations.it was FUNNNNNNN!ahaha.we helped the girls alot.GIRL POWER!i find the passing the person through tire station exceptionally meaningful(and being lifted is superrrrrrr comfortable!like sleeping on a moving sofa.haha), because it requires the effort of many people.from the encouragement to the postioning, to the lifting, to asking the person being lifted to relax, heads down, to receiving and cheering each other on. this really shows teamwork.as we are together with hermes the whole day, we helped each other and communicated with each other alot.its a good experience(: after this was to prepare for campfire performance.wanted to do 千手观音.haha.kinda failed, so we did 2 cheers and 1 war cry with hermes(collaboration,lead by instructor kelvin!).in between each group's performance, the instructors put up dances and performances to entertain us. seriously, they are DAMN GOOD entertainers.its like watching variety show.full of laughs.instructor kelvin is such a GREAT INSTRUCTOR.he really gives clear instructions, care for the safety of us and the students, make us high and enthu!rocksssssss!after discussion, the kids went to bathe, and the volunteers stayed to discuss somemore.dinner.night walk!actually its just a straight road to the main road and then back again. dragged for like 1 hour before actually starting.but in that one hour, they taught us camp cheers and entertained us.the sky changed from bright to darkness.the nightwalk started!there were lightsticks positioned along the way to show us the way.red for NO WALKING HERE and green for WALK HERE!it was..a little bit tiring.but its quite fun.its not exactly dark, but dark enough, yet bright enough for us to see the floor, each other's outline and faintly the face too.after night walk. campfire!i think ATHENA did great(: we were enthu and loud.loud enough i hope(: had a great time watching the instructors perform(: after campfire, defrief for students and volunteers by kelvin.after the kids went to sleep, kelvin told us something very meaningful: leaders/volunteers/instructors cannot show their fatigue and tiredness in front of the kids. we must always keep our energy level high, or else when the kids see that, they will follow and become not enthu and feel very tired instead.so, even though we are very tired, we cannot show it, and must always seem and act very enthu and high in front of the kids to bring their spirit up and encourage them.he is a good example.we all know how tired he is, yet he always show his high and enthu side, bringing the mood up.佩服！
a lesson learnt from being a leader/instructor/volunteer: we must be responsible for the kids, think in the benefit of them, always try to keep their spirits high despite how tired we are, to look out for them constantly, and learn to communicate with them. i think i learnt alot during this camp and i think i kind of discovered a new side of me.a more decisive side when it comes to deciding something in the benefit of the vunerable(the students in this case) they seem so vunerable, blur and in need of someone to lead them.maybe its my motherly instinct.hahahahah.dont know.i think i became..more outspoken through this?hmmm.but i REALLY ENJOYED THIS CAMP despite how tiring it was.had a great chat with annabelle, tasmin, ziqin,zhi yin and jun jie.they are all awesome and great people! :D
ATHENA FTW! :D

YOOCHUN~

2010-06-04T22:50:00.002+08:00

SAENGILCHUKHA HAMNIDA YOOCHUN!!!
i totally forgot about his birthday until i saw alisius's comment to yi lei on facebook.
BAD BAD ME!how can i forgot yoochun's birthday!! ToT so disappointed in myself.of all things! ):
but anyway, i still made it today!lucky me :D
now, i should check my things one last time before i go to sleep and wake up afresh for camp tomorrow.i may only get 4hr or less sleep tomorrow night cos of sentry duty my sleeeeeeeep T_____T
okay.need to go pack! whoots~
YOOCHUN DAY!~ :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
<3 yoochun
<3 jaejoong
<3 JUNSU!( see my bias.haha)
<3 DONGBANG!
nights! :D

2010-05-30T23:33:00.002+08:00

been half a month since i've posted. busy busy busy! and of course, i was distracted by many things. sigh. as usual, this post is dedicated to dongbang! especially my dearest junchan! :D
lyrics for kimi ga ireba. can't stop listening to it! beautiful song sang by a beautiful voice acted out by a beautiful yoochun(: best combi ever! YOOSU~ haha.i love shinjiroh inoue!she always write beautiful song and lyrics for our dongbang boys! yaye!
“Kimiga Ireba ~Beautiful Love~”

Sung by: XIAH junsu
Lyrics: Shinjiroh Inoue
Composed by: Shinjiroh Inoue
Arranged by: Shinjiroh Inoue

小さな頃に映画で見たような　華やぐ日々を過ごしていても
Chiisana koroni eigade mita youna hanayagu hibiwo sugoshiteitemo
Even if I have a glamorous life, just as I’ve seen in the movies years ago

裸になれば誰もが独りで
Hadakani nareba daremoga hitoride
Everyone is alone, when we have nothing on

それでまた恋をするんだろう
Sorede mata koiwo surundarou
We will again have somebody to love

Cause I love 二人手をつなぎあって
Cause I love Futari tewo tsunagiatte
Cause I love we held our hands together

どこに行ってもいいと感じた
Dokoni ittemo iito kanjita
We would have gone anywhere

君がいれば　君とならば
Kimiga ireba kimito naraba
If you are by my side, if we are together

僕は僕でいることができるよ
Bokuwa bokude irukotoga dekiruyo
I can be my true self

はしゃぎ過ぎた季節が過ぎて行っても
Hashagi sugita kisetsuga sugite ittemo
Even when the playful and carefree days are gone

君は僕のそばにいて
Kimiha bokuno sobaniite
Please stay by my side

行く当てもなく　駆け込んだバスで
Yuku atemo naku kakekonda bus de
Nowhere else to go, we got on the bus

君は黙ってキスしてくれた
Kimiha damatte kiss shitekureta
Without words, you kissed me

見知らぬ街で　一晩中笑って
Mishiranu machide hitobanjuu waratte
Laughing together in an unknown town all night

君とまた夢を見るんだろう
kimito mata yumewo mirundarou
I will again, have a dream with you

There’s the love 二人交わした言葉が
There’s the love Futari kawashita kotobaga
There’s the love, the words which we exchanged

変わることはないと　信じて
Kawaru kotoha naito shinjite
Believing that they would not change forever

君がいれば　君とならば
Kimiga ireba kimito naraba
If you are by my side, if we are together

僕は僕でいることができるよ
Bokuwa bokude irukotoga dekiruyo
I can be my true self

はしゃぎ過ぎた季節が過ぎて行っても
Hashagi sugita kisetsuga sugite ittemo
Even when the playful and carefree days are gone

君は僕のそばにいて
Kimiha bokuno sobaniite
Please stay by my side

ありのままで選んだ夢が
Arinomamade eranda yumega
My dream I selected, just being myself

また誰かを傷つけていて
Mata darekawo kizutsuketeite
Bruised again someone’s heart

それでも君が　僕を好きなら
Soredemo kimiga bokuwo sukinara
If you really love me, the way I am

僕は明日を描くよ
Bokuha ashitawo egakuyo
I will be able to dream the future

壊れそうな本当の心　本当の僕を愛してほしいから
Kowaresouna hontouno kokoro 　hontouno bokuwo aishite hoshiikara
My true heart is about to fall to pieces, I want you to love the true myself

他に何もいらない　そう思うから
Hokani nanimo iranai sou omoukara
I do not want anything else, that is my true feelings

だから僕のそばにいて
Dakara bokuno sobaniite
Please stay by my side

君がいれば　君とならば
Kimiga ireba kimito naraba
If you are by my side, if we are together

僕は僕でいることができるよ
Bokuwa bokude irukotoga dekiruyo
I can be my true self

はしゃぎ過ぎた季節が過ぎて行っても
Hashagi sugita kisetsuga sugite ittemo
Even when the playful and carefree days are gone

君は僕のそばにいて
Kimiha bokuno sobaniite
Please stay by my side

いつも僕のそばにいて
Itsumo bokuno sobaniite
Please always stay by my side

the english translation seem abit off. grammatically wrong? i thing if we really understand the lyrics and rearrange the lyrics to fully express the meaning of the song, the lyrics will be more touching! love this song! heres the vid by the way(:

yoochun looks good here :D

VICTORY!

2010-05-12T20:34:00.002+08:00

VJSG-VJ SOCCER GIRLS won R1JC 1-1 penalty kick 4-1
GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT JOB!THE LOSING STREAK IS FINALLY BROKEN!
RIJC scored a goal in the first 10sec of the game.everyone were DUMBFOUNDED.its such an easy goal.just kick, the goalkeeper went up to catch but the opponent was faster and it went it.everyone were like WTH??!?
its totally absurd.1st 10sec??!?!its a total disappointment and i'm super worried that we will lose.
despite that,
victorians cheered on and on for 1 and a half hours, WE SCORED A GOAL!its a TIE!there is HOPE!
this goal is the turning point for the game.and of course, when the goal was scored, we jumped up and down like MADNESS and screamed our lungs out.it is a moment that you can truly feel the victorian spirit, the sense of togetherness and our never-dying support and love for our schoolmates.this is the real spirit that i have experienced in cedar, and was hoping to experience in VJ.finally.soccer girls finals!one of the most exciting moments of my life.sports really bonds people. thats an undeniable truth.
we were expecting our girls to not do well during the penalty kicks, but they did not fail us and surprised us by beating them 4-1.screaming like mad when we scored and when they did not.haha.
looks like luck is on our side. and of course, i was praying at critical points.sometimes, its just unbelievable how praying do help in critical moments...
i am anticipating more finals to come :D
and my full day!yaye!!!i think alot of people will kill CPM if theres no full day.
and i think the number of supporters supporting matches really do matter.it somehow just boosts the morale and keeps our players fighting.:D
perserverance, is the key to success.

anw, in 3mth's time, another classmate will leave our class.this is so....saddening.hope our classmates will learn to appreciate him and treat him nicely.he deserves it.

JUNSU ARRIVING!!

2010-04-29T21:04:00.002+08:00

i totally cant concentrate on my work at all.my mind is filled with junsu coming to singapore and the fact that i wouldnt be there to welcome him to singapore and see him.like in REAL LIFE.i have been admiring and loving him through the computer screen for this 1 and a half years since the mirotic period, and now i will finally get a chance to see him, breathe the same air as him, and his hotel is like within walking distance from my house. my wish since 2008 is to see him, talk to him, ask for his autograph and take a photo with him and smile at him. all these can be made possible.NOW.my dream can finally come through.
but unfortunately, i m restricted, constrained, controlled and manipulated by my obiedience, guilt and cowardice. my 17 years of bringing up forbids me from disobeying my mum and going against her iron will.i can sneak out or whatever, but i just dont have the courage to face the consequences after that. mind me when i say consequences, you can never imagine the extent of it.
i wanted to use the farewell for luke to be an excuse for staying out late, but my mum used her so called logical thinking and rejected my idea, saying that you are not even close to him, theres no point sending him off because its not like you will really keep in contact with him or whatever. this is, unfortunately, true. theres no point arguing. it will be refuted some way or another.
so all i can do now, is count down to his arrival, camp in front of the computer and wait for cassies to upload airport fancams onto youtube and let me see him.
jiayou!

2010-04-20T20:00:00.002+08:00

2010.04.19 Monday
Junho’s Showcase♪

Hello~
I went to Junho's showcase~~~~~~~
I know everyone is anxious about our Junsu.
I will make a brief report, so all of you can replenish yourselves with the current Junsu…

Junho’s showcase was for full two hours.
The JCB Hall was full with purple lam penlights, up to the 3rd floor.
This time, there were no red penlights.
I think the program was similar to that of Beijing’s.

One hour passed before Junsu appeared on stage…
During the time, Junho performed his Chinese debut dance song, showcased the PV, and the preparation images before Junho’s debut was shown....
Junho was doing his best learning the Chinese pronunciation, dance, and vocalization.
There were family gathering images of dinner, karaoke, and drinking sessions, to support Junho during his preparation days~

At that image, Junsu was making advices as a senior.
After that, in Karaoke, their friend Yongpil joined them and boosted the mood.
Junsu, though sitting, sung the MIROTIC♪
Afterwards, during the drinking session with friends, Junsu’s English was introduced…
(few words omitted)

Junsu seemed as though he was drinking beer~ his face was a little bit red~ he seemed to be enjoying himself with his friends. Junsu in the image was very cute.
Even though it was just a video, my heart ached~~~

Junho went backstage to change his clothes, there were screen images, and then…

Junsu appeared on stage~~
The song was "Greatest Love of All" ♪
Junsu appeared from the center of the stage, wearing a black tight suit.

JUNSU~~~~TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
At "Mozart", he had so much makeup, so it has been a long time since I was able to see his natural face…
I heard a rumor that he was going to a tanning salon, and his face was not so white~~~
He looked a little bit tired, and I heard that Junho had caught a cold, so maybe both the brothers had them..(a little bit worried)

But, his song was..
Maybe it was because he started to perform in musicals~~
I cannot put into correct words, but previously, Junsu started to sing songs in a thin voice, but this time, his voice was deep and heavy from the beginning!
I thought~ oh~ this should be a technique he achieved through the musicals…
Junsu always performs in a perfect style, but he always goes further and devotes himself more and more, as though there is no limitTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

His appearance from the center of the stage, holding a microphone, was true stateliness.
His expressions during both the quiet and the heartily parts were really matured…
As with the Mozart performance, when Junsu bend down and walked fast on stage to go to all sides,
I was full of tearsTTTTTTTT

Until now, though Junsu have performed on many stages, he sometimes seemed to be nervous and bashful when performing alone… but this time, he was in state.
The size of the hall was rather small and the distance between the audience and Junsu was very near, but Junsu himself was catching the eyes of the audience one by one during singing the song. I thought that I was able to see a true matured artist.
Junsu arranged the last part of the song long and stable, and it really got into my heart.
As always, Junsu's vocal is lovely~ why should his song get so much into my heart..TTTTT

Junsu sang only one song, but there were the "Twins' talk" for about 15 minutes♪

First of all, Junsu alone was exchanging simple greetings with the host.
"Today I came to support and cheer my brother Junho. I am more nervous than my brother...
My brother was performing better than I expected, I thought his doing his best is lovely."

After thinking a little, Junsu answered to the question, "How did Junho change during his debut period?" as, "He changed in many ways.. and he is now very manly~ oh, of course he wasn't a girl (lol). He seems to be flamboyant.. The charismatic image ? (Lol) that I aimed, he is far better than me. I thought this is a must-win game."

Oh Junsu~~ your talks are always funny~~ the hall was full of laughter.
Then, it was time for Junsu to call his brother Junho, who was waiting at the wing. He said "How should I call him? Umm.. Juno~♪"

Junho was smiling as he appeared on stage, and the two embraced each other. Junsu was smiling a shy smile. Little Junsu completely fit into Junho (Lol) Junsu, who is slightly smaller than Junho, looked very cute, and my heart missed a beat again. (Junsu is not short, but Junho is the one who’s tall…)

Afterwards, the two sat together in the center of the stage, and the talk time together with the host and the interpreter started.

Junho and Junsu looked at each other, and Junsu said
"We are twins~~ maybe you cannot believe us, but we are biovular twins!"

To the question from the host to Junsu, "What kind of brother was Junho to you?",
Junsu answered, "My brother was like an elder brother from our chilidhood days, he was always considerate, always kind to me, and we were able to get well together. He is really my elder brother, I tend to forget that he is my twin brother, I am so thankful."

There, Junho asked "Do you love me?" (Lol)
Junsu "Yes, I love you (Lol)"
Junho "Arigato Gojaimasu" (T/N: thank you. The true word is "Arigato Gozaimasu".)
Junsu "I am so thankful!" (Lol)

Junsu, the word "considerate" came out so smoothly... oh, his Japanese is OK~

From Junho, "My brother is really like a younger brother.. Though we are in the same position, twins, he always called me the elder brother. He should have had complicated feelings since we are twins.. I thank him for always respecting me as an elder brother. As a singer, he is a great senior, and thanks to him, I am able to stand on today’s stage."
Junho said all this in Korean. Afterwards, he requested to Junsu "Please translate (T/N: to Japanese)", but Junsu seemed to be embarrassed, so at the last, the interpreter translated his words.

Junsu "Give it your all!" (Lol)
Junho "Arigato Gojaimasu"

The host requested that the brothers disclose an episode especially here, and Junsu said,
"We got up to mischief.. too far...a lady...a friend (a girl), we picked on her, and we made her burst into tears....
Oh, it was back in our childhood days~ we liked her, so we picked on her a little~"

Host "That girl is so lucky, to have been made into tears by you two~ (Lol)." Junsu burst into laughing.
"So, you are now an adult, so you won’t make ladies cry like that?" (Oh~ thank you host for asking the question.)
Junsu "No, no, I won’t do that kind of things~ (smiling bashfully)~ I will …really.. love her."

The audience was full of kya~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Host "Which is stronger? When you have a fight, which side wins.....?"
Junsu "Maybe you won’t believe us, but we have never quarreled~"
Junho "Yes, its true" (T/N: in Japanese)
Junsu "We always worked together.. for instance, we beat a junior high school student when we were in elementary school by fighting together~ (Lol)"

(The two are really loving brothers.)

There was a message and advice from Junsu to Junho.
Junsu "When you stand on stage, I want you to think that you are the best in the world....the audience will know.. it is really important as an artist, I think."

(applause from the audience~~)

Host "Send a yell to your brother."
Junsu "I think that… you will do your best as you have done until this date~
Really… umm (asking the interpreter for the Japanese word, lol) Oh, genuine. He is a genuine person~
Really…I don’t have anything to say about this point…I believe in him.
He is truly doing his best… (smiling bashfully)"

(Junho was laughing out loud).

In the very last, we were able to hear Junsu's messages to the fans.

It has been really quite a while since I met face to face with all of you....
Soon....the time that we can meet will...
I think that there will be many chances....everyone....please, a little bit....
Wait for us.
Thank you very much.

(bow)

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Can we meet again? Junsu, will the chances that we can meet increase in the future?

Junsu was so considerate, he did not forget to say "Today is Junho's showcase. Please enjoy yourselves to the last minute."

Junsu....
Your haircut was the MIRO style, and the length was more uneven　(Lol) His eyebrows are slightly thin...
He had a little suntan. It may be that he was with his brother.. he was smiling bashfully, his ukyankyang hasn't canged~
He wasn't nervous, he seemed relaxed, good for you, Junsu!

If I had a younger brother like Junsu… adorable and cute.
Junho seemed more relaxed after Junsu appeared onstage, though bashful, looking at each other, or looking away, so natural..

Junho...
Resemblances Junsu~~ the lines of his jaws~~
Sometimes his expressions and gestures are the very same (licking his lips many times, lol),
Junho seemed to be the very Junsu, my heart was beating..
Watching Junho, I was wistful again…

Junho! He was doing his best for his singing and dancing. I hear that his dream is to become an actor, so please show your face often by this debut. And, in the future, please become a lovely artist. If it is Junsu’s wish, I really want the wish to be achieved!

Junsu! I’m waiting for you~~ I believe that the day we can meet many times are close at hand.....

KIM BROTHER LOVE!I WANT TO GO ZUNO SHOWCASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TTTTTT______________TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

WHY ARE MY PARENTS SO CRUEL TO ME!!!!I WILL NEVER EVER REGRET GOING.SERIOUSLY.

JUNSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD JUNHOOOO((((((:

really love the love between them, junsu's modest and sincere attititude to everything.lovelovelove!

2010-04-10T20:42:00.004+08:00

[TRANS] More of Ko-san's feelings for TVXQ

We've already posted a translation of Ko-san's blog update about the way he feels for TVXQ, right?

But I just found this and I find it more detailed, more understandable, and more touching.

So, I decided to post it here. :)

I was really touched reading this. And I hope all of you will be too.

T/N: Tohoshinki's dancer KO-san updated his blog with an entry about Tohoshinki yesterday, but for some reason he deleted it. However, fans were able to get a hold of what the wrote before he deleted the whole entry.

I had a lot of troubles to decide whether or not I should write this blog entry.

I've been working with them for 4 years.

Coming back from America, I went to their 2nd Tour's audition without knowing who they were.

They were Tohoshinki.

I was able to learn a lot during their tour.

It took me 4 years to remember their names.

I'd always wanted to return to America, but then I came that by working with them, it actually became meaningful for me to stay in Japan, and that was something that I could be proud of.

It was also the first time that my family went to watch me on stage.

Our dancers were a family.

SONNY-san, YU-KI-san, GEN-san, RYO-san, 50

We've made a lot of memories up until now, and I love everyone way so much it's unbelievable.

I also really want to say thanks to avex's female staff members who have put all of us together, the people who have worked with all their minds for the sake of the tour even and taken care of it more than their own personal matters.

We laughed a lot, talked a lot, and sometimes cried together. And we also danced together. I also want to say thanks to my girlfriend for all of her uttermost efforts.

Thanks to them (Tohoshinki), I was able to meet you guys.

And thanks to them, I might have become a little more filial?

The more I write, the more I can't stop my tears.

I have never once heard any complaint coming from them.

They laughed so well.

YunHo

As a leader, he was doing his job so well, and he also put his most uttermost efforts into dancing. He's also the one who talked to us the most. I really loved his adlibs, his break dances, and his opening parts.

During "Summer Dream" we played rock-paper-scissors a lot, and I won! LOL

ChangMin

It took me 4 years to remember his name. The one who's always diligent and serious yet a very gentle and kind person. However, he completely became a different person when he got on stage, and it was very interesting to watch his suddenly change. He always read book in the resting room, and was always serious in whatever he did. I still remember his smile in "Sky" even now. From the minute he was told to do his work well, he really did his best. No, really, he was really doing his very best.

I want to become ChangMin in front of my family! But who am I now! LOL

(The hardworking maknae eh?)

JeJung

Can I say that he's the loneliest? He's the one who makes the most eye contact with everyone while singing~

He has such a beautiful voice that always fascinated us. When I just came back after my injury, JeJung was the one who was shouting out for me the loudest from the stage. When JunSu injured himself too, he was the one who rushed to him the fastest, and also the one who was the most worried.

JeJung is a very gentle and deep person.

JunSu

Normally he's a big idiot? He's very charismatic on stage, and he always practiced his oyaji gags with me seriously.

I cried at his singing voice, and whenever I saw him dancing, his tension was always at its MAX.

When everyone already decided to choose "Rainy Night" as JunSu's solo, with a face that was happier than anyone else, he asked me in front of everyone, "Ko-san, what do you want?" and I thought to myself, "This guy is such an idiot!" LOL (T/N: the way Ko-san uses the word "idiot" here does not in anyway mean to insult JunSu, rather, he's saying it in a lovable and respectable way, because JunSu genuinely respected Ko-san's opinion even though everyone already made a decision)

However, later, at a place with no one else, he told me with a serious face, "Ko-san, I know everyone has a different opinion, so tell me, do you really think that it is the best?"

Because he's way too serious, I still remember that it was very hard to tell him things like "This part feels weird", "No, fix your lyrics", "JunSu's song is not good". Thank you for your singing and dancing to wonderful songs on a wonderful stage at that time.

When he injured himself, he cried.

Charismatic, he is really charismatic.

YuChun

I think he's the one who's the closest to me.

Really, truly.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's too hard to write now.

The time when we swing the towel together, we decided on the winner, but we didn't do high-fives.

Everyone please don't misunderstand, it's not YuChun who didn't do high-fives, it's me who didn't do it.

That's why I'm saying it now, because we were very playful towards each other! LOL

When we were filming for a PV, he said, "What will Ko-san be doing until everyone comes? We don't need Ko-san."

He really did it~ Even though he's the artist, this guy… this jerk really said that. (T/N: Again, he doesn't mean to insult YuChun. He said this because they were really playful towards each other, just like when YuChun said they didn't need Ko-san)

He's the most emotional one and the one that is the most suitable for the stage, in my opinion.

I still have a lot of memories about them to write.

Rather than what the media has been writing, there are a lot of truths that no one knows about.

I absolutely do not believe in what the media writes. (Honestly, this really made me relieved)

I have a lot of worries and a lot of piled up memories, so it's not a simple thing to write them all down.

For me, what I write in my blog is all from my heart.

My feelings got very complicated when the news of their "paused activities" was announced to the world.

I also received an email from avex.

However, there was nothing I could do.

To my family, my friends, and everyone who's been supporting me, I am so thankful of you guys that I just can't put my feelings to words.

Myself, I was able to make a lot of memories and experiences thanks to them (Tohoshinki).

However, I'm not going to end here, I will continue to grow.

For my own sake, for my mom, and for them.

Never stop.

If I try my best then maybe someday we'll be able to work together again.

It might be a solo, I don't know in what form will they be coming back.

However, no matter what form they'll come back in, I seriously want to work with them again.

It will absolutely absolutely come true.

My feelings will never change.

I think I will love them until I die.

I think I will listen to their songs until I die.

Thank you for everything up until now.

And

Please take care of me from now on too.

THIS IS THE TRUTH!THE GENUINITY AND DEPTH OF THEIR FRIENDSHIP!KO-SAN IS JUST A BACKUP DANCER THAT HAD PERFORMED WITH THEM FOR 4 YEARS.4 YEARS AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS THIS DEEP.WHAT ABOUT 6 YEARS AND SPENDING EVERYDAY TOGETHER, SHARING THE SAME ROOM, AND NOT TO MENTION THE TRAINEE DAYS!IT ADDS UP TO ABOUT 10 YEARS FOR GOODNESS SAKE!THOSE WHO DONT BELIEVE IN THEM AND THINK THEY HAVE INTERNAL CONFLICT IS TOTALLY BLIND AND DONT UNDERSTAND THEIR FRIENDSHIP AT ALL!

i just cant seem to stop posting about dongbang.its so part of my life now...

always keep the faith.

their friendship....

2010-04-08T20:25:00.000+08:00

Shim Changmin:

"Everyone has grown up; their ways of thinking are different as compared to before. But if we are to spend every single day together, then we might not be able to notice the changes in each other. It's like this for me – it’s only through an interview that I could feel that I have changed. I guess it must have been the same for the others too, and I think it’s a good thing – entering this world, being able to feel pleasure, and also the hardships and sufferings an average person would not experience. Therefore, I would always think of changing for the better. Nothing can stop my pace in moving forward. I will continue to work hard in this manner."

Jung Yunho:

"Right now, I’m still thinking about exceeding my own abilities and making greater efforts. In any case, I would blame myself first, not wanting to be hated by others because of my insufficiency. This characteristic of mine has not changed since my youth. After becoming the leader of TVXQ, I want to be placed ahead of everyone else. Everyone might have felt strained and even I felt out of breathe at times. The members’ personalities are rather similar. Even though each of them has their own way of thinking, they still need some discipline from a leader, and with that I will unwittingly become serious. I do feel impatient and frustrated too at times because of some issues."

Kim Jaejoong:

"During the latter part of the year 2006, all the big awards during an award ceremony in South Korea were bestowed upon us. Later, after going to Japan, many people did not know us. The stage didn't even have a podium, and there weren’t many occasions when we were given cordless microphones. Also, there was a time when we were performing "O" and the atmosphere was so cold that I wanted to die. After four years, they now have expectations for us – we will always strive for the maximum."

Kim Junsu:

"When one is sad, and another could accompany him to cry, doesn’t that mean the person was also sharing the pain? It was very difficult for the others to understand each person's pain and grief, in addition to his own. It seems impossible to divide the pain, but because we were having similar feelings, the pain halved. I do not know what is ahead of me, but I know who it was that recommended me to walk this path, and that's good."

Park Yoochun:

"I remember – because I have my members, fans, and staff along with me, I'm not alone. I still felt lonely and wanted to close my heart to the stage, and there were times when I lose confidence and courage."

most popular idol march-april 2010 survery top 30!

2010-04-06T20:40:00.001+08:00

1. TVXQ - Junsu
2. TVXQ - Yoochun
3. TVXQ - Jaejoong
4. TVXQ - Yunho
5. SNSD - Taeyeon
6. TVXQ - Changmin
7. Big Bang - G-DRAGON
8. SNSD - Yoona
9. Super Junior - Heechul
10. Super Junior - Donghae
11.SS501 - Kim Hyunjoong (for cheryl's sake.haha)
12. SNSD - Jessica
13. Super Junior
14. WonderGirls - Sohee
15. Super Junior - Sungmin
16. SNSD - Tiffany
17. 2PM - Jaebeom
18. SS501 - Youngsaeng
19. Big Bang - Seungri
20. Super Junior - Lee Teuk
21. FT Island - Hongki
22. Super Junior - Siwon
23. SHINee - Taemin
24. Big Bang - T.O.P
25. 2PM - Taecyeon
26. SNSD - Yuri
27. 2PM - Wooyoung
28. Super Junior - Kibum
29. Super Junior - Ryeowook
30.2PM - Nickhun

awwwwwwwwwwwww.so sad!changmin lost to taeyeon!but all squeezed into top 6 :DDDD and unexpectedly junsu came in FIRST!!!whoooooo~~~~

cassiopeia..

2010-04-05T21:32:00.004+08:00

"Cassiopeia"

It's a very familiar name, right?

If you're a person who likes TVXQ

you will have heard of it at least once,

and you will have introduced yourself as one at least once.

We have always thought of the name 'Cassiopeia' so proudly

and I believe we will keep doing so in the future.

I'm here to talk about our name

'Cassiopeia'.

Do you remember how we got the name 'Cassiopeia'?

We got it off of the constellation 'Cassiopeia'.

Five stars that shine brightly in the northern skies.

That is 'Cassiopeia'.

But, there's something you should know about 'Cassiopeia'.

The constellation 'Cassiopeia'

is one you can see all year round in Korea,

and it is also a constellation winter travelers use as a compass to find Polaris.

We,

Our name,

stays in one place no matter what

and guides travelers who have lost their way,

and their hope

towards the right path to bright Polaris

That is where our name comes from.

Did you know that?

If you did, have you forgotten that?

When we chose our name as 'Cassiopeia',

we made a promise to ourselves.

That we'd always brightly shine upon our stars TVXQ.

That we'd shine and protect our stars TVXQ.

When they lost their way,

when they felt worn out,

We would always shine on them from one place

so that they could find their way,

so that they could find hope.

........... We haven't forgotten that, right?

We,

Those feelings we had at that time,

that faith,

we still have all of those.

Do you see it?

Shining so bright in the sky,

that's us.

It's going to be hard.

Keeping our faith in hard times like these,

it may be hard to believe in them till the end.

But we are 'Cassiopeia'.

I believe that what we have to do is stay right where we are and wait for them/

In this spot, so that TVXQ don't lose their way,

So that TVXQ has somewhere to return to,

So that they do not lose hope,

We have to wait.

I don't know how long this will take.

But I will wait.

Right here, not changing one bit.

Like 'Cassiopeia', that shone light on the path for people for thousands of years

I will shine light on the path so that TVXQ can return whenever they are ready.

Because I am 'Cassiopeia', for whom even the wait is sweet...

Always keep the Faith!

by:은령

this is so touching.teared while reading it.cassiopeia.such a meaningful word..unchanging, giving them light and hope.the meaning of the existence of cassiopeia.we must light up the way for our dongbang!

always keep the faith!

showcase

2010-04-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

just called parents.flatly rejected me AGAIN. they stick with their lame reasoning, and when i told my mum that they are on the verge of disbanding and i may never get to see them perform in singapore ever again, she gave me the most ridiculous reply: aiyah!its like 宣传策略！

WTHHHH.

my father best. people come here with such an obvious motive to cheat ur money u still willingly let them cheat ur money. so dumb. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!这是我听过最无厘头的理由.when i rebutted him using the eating good food reason, he couldn't say anything but just say NO.CANNOT.that is how they are like...强词夺理.no sufficient supporting evidence...

i dont care. i want to go. i am going to pester them every night we call each other to reconsider it even if i cry every single time they reject me.

or should i just buy the ticket secretly?they cant do anything..since its about the money.its sunk cost.i have already spent the money.might as well go.or else it will be wasted.

i shall think about this.

always keep the faith.

from now on, i will be strong.

cry...

2010-04-04T21:32:00.002+08:00

i cried myself to sleep after my call to my parents last night.i proposed the idea of going for ZUNO's showcase. at first my mum sounded okay. she say she has to ask my dad.and when she called back, the reaction was like a 180 degrees change.N-O NO.my mum ask me to be more rational, while my dad is totally against the whole fandom.why waste time on this?if u have time for chasing after stars, why not stop complaining that u have no time to study and instead spend more time on ur studies?this kind of thing u try it once u will definitely try it again.so in the end u will just keep going and wasting time and money.

they didnt even give me much chance to talk.i have already given up on explaining to them.they wouldn't understand anyway.my mood was bad enough after knowing that they are going to stop group activities in japan, and now they are even depriving me of my chance(maybe the only chance in my life) to see junsu...if i tell them that, they will say im irrational and crazy over this kind of stupid thing again. its true that i shouldn't waste money on things other than food and studies, but i have to learn to make decisions on whether to spend on something sooner or later.maybe my indecisiveness is been brought up this way. i have no choice.somehow, i m being controlled.yes. they hold a special power over me because they are my parents. i think a spell have been cast upon me since i was young, and i simply could not break away from it.

my dad say they still cant trust me enough because i m not independent enough.when i want to be independent, to be decisive, to be strong, they think i can't make it. so when do they think is the right time? i am prepared to stay in singapore all alone and there goes my dad worrying. i do not want myself to be a tripping stone for my brother's future. i have already grown up. i may seem childish sometimes, but i believe, with experience, i will improve. dont we all improve and grow up through experiencing hardship?i believe i can do it.

and always keep the faith.i will support them forever...if its their wish to go solo, i will respect their decision and continue to support them. i just want to see them to be able to talk and laugh normally again, and not always restrain themselves from doing what they have been doing the past 6 year.hwaiting!

suspension of tohoshinki group activities.encouragement.

2010-04-04T14:45:00.000+08:00

[INFO] Reader Request - From 류인, Cassiopeia

Pass this post, if you don't want to read but a reader had requested to me to post this. It will encourage you because it encouraged me too.

-----

This is my first and Hopefully its not the last for me to post a comment here in DBSKnights. I'm a Cassiopeian ever since 2003, when DBSK stood on the stage with the help from BoA. I celebrated their 6th Anni, and celebrated my own 6th Anni of being a DBSKHolic.

Frankly speaking, This news did not Trigger me much. Why? Not to mean that I'm not interested anymore, I'm just following and Respecting the path. In the first place, they mentioned of becoming a Successful singer. So it's actually not surprising if they choose their Alternative ways to Complete this Dream of theirs. When a pair of wings are ready, it attempts to Fly itself.

"Tohoshinki will stop their activities as a group and please support their solo activities".
- I find no 'DISBAND' nor 'STOPPING FOREVER' in this quote.

Keep in mind that the name is still under SM.Ent, so As long as no Official statement from them stating they're Disbanding, they'll Still be using "DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki" as much as possible in their Solo Activities, in Korea or Overseas. (Eg. Yunho's using [DBSK] and [U-Know] in MJ's Tribute.)

Each of the five boys stated that they'll Come out one day and Explain everything. Did they come yet? No. So I choose to be patient, and will continue waiting.

We Don't Know the Real Truth, and I don't think we have the Need to, for I Took a step forward directly to their backs, Leveling with their Shoulders. I won't put ALL THE Blame to SM.Ent, And I sincerely hope that the rest would do the same. Because it's The Five's choices to Fly.

DBSK is More than Just An Idol for me. I Found who I am from them, I Learned every single Singing Technique from them. I Love Music from them, and I confirmed myself of to be a Singer from them.

I Support all of them, Though Jung Yunho's my Fav among all >.<. No Activities from DBSK? I support Tohoshinki. No Activities from Tohoshinki? I support Each of them, Individually.

Always Keep the Faith?

I, hereby to Declare.
I, Forever Keep the Faith.

mideoyo

2010-04-03T19:50:00.002+08:00

i won't believe anything.

stopping japan group activities doesn't mean anything.

they are just busy with their current activities that they just need a break from group activities.

they will be back after they finished their individual activities.

as a group.as dongbangshinki.as tohoshinki.

i sound like im consoling myself.i am.

i won't believe anything till they stand in front of us fans to tell us that they are really d*********.

i won't cry until that new is confirmed.

i won't lose faith in them.no matter what.

even if the worst happen, i will still support all of them.always love them.

i can't help it.i am crying.

please please please.give us our boys back.as a group.

always keep the faith.

APRILS' FOOL!

2010-04-02T12:05:00.003+08:00

trick one:

i was talking to jiamin and cheryl when taisheng said,"eh jiayan, ur cheek here(points to his face) got something."i quickly touch my face and see whether got anythg or not.nothing."no!its here!(points to that spot again.)" i look at jiamin and cheryl with a bewildered look."dont have anythg on your face." but taisheng kept insisting that theres something on my face.after reassurance from jiamin and cheryl that theres really nothing on my face, and when taisheng start laughing, i knew i was tricked....

moral of the story: when comes to something on my face, only trust jiamin and cheryl and no on else.

trick two:

its very hot in the canteen,so me jiamin cheryl went to the outside benches to sit and eat our wanton mee.not long after, most of those who were sitting on the canteen benches came to join us and i was quite surprised and happy at the same time because theres class bonding((: after we finished our wanton mee and chatting away, the class suddenly started singing the birthday song(a very loud one).so i started clapping and singing also cos i have the habit of clapping and singing the birthday song as long as its being sang,even though i dont know the person.so i happily clap and sang the song until the happy birthday to _________ part, and they JIAYAN so loud.tricked again....my birthday is still 8 and the half months away!!sigh.haha.they still gave me a swensens voucher after that.(which i gave it back).they say i very easy to trick...-_-"

selling vegetables:

IMH thing was postponed to 2 weeks later, so we have to urgently sell the veges we bought.sold everything(: but the lettuce part abit kui ben.i remembered the price wrongly :x the lettuce is one for $1.60 but i thought its $1 so we sold both at $2..sold lettuce to vegetarian stall auntie, the tomatoes to western food auntie and cucumber to chicken rice uncle.haha.its so rush..and im really grateful that the stall uncles and aunties bought it(: i thought they wouldn't..(but jiamin say they will just buy to help the students..) now im worried about the cheese and butter in my fridge.but those can keep, so its not so bad(:

pull up:

after everyone has finished eating during the double period break, the guys started to do pull ups.me and cheryl were inspired and decided to give it a try(after much discussion and negotiation though).we just managed to jump and hold on the to bar and maximun swing a few times before our hands slipped.cant even pull ourselves up at all.no muscles.sigh.then other girls started crowding around the bar too.and we try to push them up.alena and jasmine succeeded without much help,only a slight push(hurray!strong girls!) and edwina with some help(shes rockclimber!sure got muscles!)yaye!all had fun trying to do push ups(((:

4 free period due to no geog + igloo anniversary!

2 period geog lecture cancelled(miss mg had food poisoning), so we me jiamin cheryl jasmine edison junrong went up to tree house.we three starting singing, and the rest were talking and kept saying that they dont understand why so many people are onto kpop...cheryl was sharing her experience about how she lifted the boy up by the collar in her childhood days.hahaha.talk quite alot of random stuff and playing with the thing from cheryl's bag, listening to music being played through loudspeaker and commenting about that irritating barbie song, thenn...........den den den den den.dendendendenden.....DOUSHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!me and jiamin SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMED!the guys were like OUCH.their ears...haha.we are damn happpy and starting singing doushite..omg.cant believe it!qien also msged us to tell us about it:DDDD yayeeeee!went for econs.pbl discussion...sigh.didnt know alot of things and dont know where to start.after econs ended, we sang a LOUD birthday song for miss tan.right after we cheered, yunsol was like TAU POK!hahaha.

after econs, geogies are FREEEEEEE again!me jiamin cheryl went to eat yougurt!then and we found out that the person controlling the songs are actually a kpop fan!(HIS WALLPAPER IS MIROTIC ALBUM!!!and yes!a FANBOY!) i ask him whether he like dbsk or not then he say okay lah, but from the wallpaper, can tell that he LOVES dongbang!haha.his favourite member is jaejoong btw :DDD qien damn happy!haha.we requested for lupin!it was on replay a few times since no one bothers to change it.hahah.someone requested stand by you((: sang along :DDD then theres this china scholar that totally stole the seat infront of the laptop and started going youtube and started playing lots and lots of kpop songs like gee genie etude ringdingdong lachata, again&again, tic tok,nobody etc.although we enjoyed these songs,but the guy in charge of the computer were like pek chek.stole his seat and his job!tsk.haha.well.we sang to every single one of those kpop songs((:

soccer match:

went to watch soccer match after that(alex went too.).khairul playing.he played full match.cool.and he kept using his head to hit the ball when his head just had 2 stitches last week...a guy got injured.all the blood.horrifying.its like all over on his face on his hands and shirt.i didnt know cutting forehead will cause so much blood loss...scary...anyway, we won CJC 8-0, and we realised how good VJ soccer is(: teamwork and footwork are damn good!VJ soccer FTW :DDDDDDD

dongbang news:

jaejoong's anan photos are out!waiting for super HQ verison to come out before posting :DDD

ZUNO IN SINGAPORE!!!

Zuno Showcase in Singapore

When: 1st May2010

Time: 6pm

Where: Compass Central-East Ballroom, Resorts World Convention Centre, Sentosa.

Arrival: 29th April, KE 641, 9:20PM

Departure: 2nd May, KE 642, 10:50PM

**TICKETING INFORMATION**

Tickets are on sale now

S$150 & S$120
(Tickets do not include any autograph and photo-taking session, lucky draw or fan club membership privileges)

**APPLICATION FOR FAN CLUB MEMBERSHIP PACKAGE WITH SHOWCASE TICKET IS EXTENDED TO 15 APRIL 2010**
We may close the application earlier if all the complimentary "Zuno Showcase 2010" tickets have been issued.
Thank you.

FAN CLUB MEMBERSHIP PACKAGE PRIVILEGES

PACKAGE B @ S$180.00
One Complimentary "Zuno Showcase 2010" Ticket (Gold Category)
A chance to meet Zuno - 10 lucky fans will win an exclusive meet-the-star session
A chance to win Zuno’s CD
Exclusive Fan Club Member Privileges - Please refer details in application form

PACKAGE C @ S$150.00
One Complimentary "Zuno Showcase 2010" Ticket (Silver Category)
A chance to meet Zuno - 10 lucky fans will win an exclusive meet-the-star session
A chance to win Zuno’s CD
Exclusive Fan Club Member Privileges - Please refer details in application form

OMO.$150 $120.abit of a shock at first.didnt expect it to be that expensive..but i still want to go!!!!!but i need to see whether my mum will allow or not.......if she dont, I WILL MISS MY ONLY CHANCE IN MY LIFE TO SEE JUNSU!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHH!and the problem is, i think my mum wont allow!and my bro already said he dont agree to me going.damnnnnnnn,its really really once in a lifetime chance!!!!!!!!argh.shall ask the others first.and i think they will be staying at swisshotel the stamford, which is only 10 mins walk from my house.but they only staying for such a short period.i wanted to go to airport to welcome them, but its like at night?so i dont think my mum will allow......sigh.so many things to consider..
RUMOUR #1: Jaejoong and Yoochun are both invited to the Singapore showcase and rumour has it that there is a HIGH CHANCE that both of them are coming over to Singapore with the twins.
RUMOUR #2: Tentative arrival date is 29th April 2010.
and this will hopefully come true!!!!!!!!!then all my fave 3 at once!omo!and jiamin and qien and alisius will definitely go if all 3 are there!YAYE!!!
always keep the faith.